Jimmy Kimmel: Stanley Cup, Obama at Starbucks + Therapy Sessions

Jimmy Kimmel: Stanley Cup Finals

Everyone’s talking about hockey rather than basketball. The Kings are beating the Rangers three to nothing. “Watching the Stanley Cup finals is kind of like watching Game of Thrones, in that it’s violent and you can’t tell who anyone is because they all have beards.” This was great.

It’s been great for LA. “They’ve only lost 30 teeth.” That was hilarious. The mayors made a bet, and New York might have to pay up tomorrow. The loser has to go on the show and perform a song. Kimmel’s going to make the New York mayor sing “I Love LA.” “This is the number one show for mayors to humiliate themselves on.”

Jimmy Kimmel Live: Joey Clams

Game three was at Madison Square Garden in New York. Fox New York was outside interviewing Rangers fans. Some of them were “refreshingly realistic.” He played a clip. “They’re probably going to lose in overtime again,” a little kid said. It was adorable and sad and hysterical. “Five-years-old. He’s already a glass half empty kind of guy,” Kimmel said. He loved him.

There was more, though. Kimmel played a clip of Joey Clams. He ate 12 dozen raw clams in Sheepshead Bay. He got his hair cut like a player and skated on the same ice as a player. “There’s a 99% chance that guy is related to me somehow,” Kimmel said. “It’s why we moved.”

Jimmy Kimmel: Dodger Vine Video

Everyone in LA is rallying behind the Kings, even players from other sports. The Dodgers posted a Vine video that Kimmel showed. He was saying, “Go Kings go,” I think. Kimmel thought he was saying “Go Kinkos.” He played it again. “He loves making copies. We should introduce him to Joey Clams.”

Jimmy Kimmel Live: President Obama at Starbucks

Usually a bunch of reporters follow President Obama around wherever he goes, but he gave them the slip yesterday. He and his Chief of Staff ran to Starbucks on their own. Kimmel didn’t even know they had Starbucks in Washington DC. They’re doing very well.

He showed a video of them there. He “got the full Starbucks experience.” Kimmel showed that they even got his name wrong on the cup. He didn’t get coffee; he got tea. “He must really love Oprah.”

Check out the video here:

Jimmy Kimmel Live: YouTube Challenge

Kimmel talked about his YouTube challenge. He showed a clip of the last one, which was people spraying their dads with a hose. This year is “Hop on Pop.” Use the title “Hey Jimmy Kimmel I hopped on pop.” You can do it now. They’ve already received submissions. Kimmel played a clip. It was hilarious. Don’t hurt anyone.

Check out the video here:

Jimmy Kimmel: England Loves to Laugh at America

Kimmel has a bone to pick with England. He watches a lot of clips from all over the world. British television networks love to laugh at crazy American people. He showed a clip of a guy from Pittsburgh who loves older woman. In fact, he’s in a relationship with a 91-year-old great grandmother right now. Kimmel said that most Americans aren’t like that unless they live at the Playboy Mansion.

Jimmy Kimmel Live: Jimmy Kimmel Therapy Sessions

Kimmel’s been going to therapy for a while. He recently has been sharing his sessions with his audience. He brings a camera crew. He’s a giver. He gives 60-80% every night. His psychiatrist is a genius names Dr. Arden Hayes. He showed a clip. Kimmel was talking to a little kid. He talked about his bathroom problems, and the “doctor” told him to take “medication after bathroom.” Then they had an ad for it.

Check out the video here: