The Tonight Show: Miami Heat & US Congress
The Miami Heat winning streak, New Jersey’s Powerball winner, and the prospect of Congress telecommuting were fodder for Jay Leno’s monologue. Here are the night’s highlights and jokes.
Tonight Show: Miami Heat Winning Streak
Jay Leno congratulated the Miami Heat on a 27th consecutive win, getting within the distance of the best winning streak ever, 33 games. That record was set in the 1971-1972 season by the LA Lakers. Times have changed.
The Tonight Show audience was filled with Spring Break partiers. But according to scientists, just one weekend of binge drinking can cause brain damage. There could be lots of other consequences too, so party responsibly.
Jay Leno: New Jersey Powerball Winner
A 44-year-old man from New Jersey has won a $138 million jackpot in the Powerball lottery. He told reporters he wanted to use the money to fulfill his dream of leaving the state.
New Jersey governor Chris Christie took questions from young students. The Tonight Show doctored the video to include questions about Christie’s weight.
The Tonight Show: US Congress Telecommuting
Did you know that members of Congress use videoconferencing and other electronic tools to work from their home states. “They figure they can get just as much not done at home,” according to Leno.
But I think they should all be forced to come to work, just like what Melissa Meyer is instituting at Yahoo. Make them show up until they can do their jobs.
Tonight Show: Pope Francis & Pope Benedict
Pope Francis met with Pope Emeritus Benedict for a weekend of prayer and reflection on Marshmallow Peeps and the coming Easter celebration. Jay said that Francis is known as gracious.
Did you know that 783 million people worldwide don’t have access to clean water. “I didn’t realize that many people even took Carnival cruises,” Leno joked.
The United Nations said that more people worldwide have cell phones than working toilets. That is a crazy thing to think about.
Jay Leno: Anderson Cooper Diving
A 17-year-old British teen sold Yahoo an iPhone app he created. His $30 million app condensed news stories, which Leno thought was redundant because of USA Today.
Elsewhere, a school in Britain banned triangular pancakes as a potential safety hazard. Leno said that stabbing yourself in the eye with a pancake should be grounds for getting held back in school.
The Tonight Show: Salad Bacteria Risk
A New York food expert said that salads could be worse for your diet than hamburgers, because of the potential for exposure to dangerous bacteria. That would make the worst part of a burger the lettuce. My advice is to eat whatever you want–all the dietary advice contradicts itself.
Jay Leno said that experts are also cautioning that humans should stay away from bats. However, he said we should all be safe around any bats used by the Chicago Cubs.
Tonight Show: Arnold Palmer Invitational
At the Arnold Palmer Invitational, there were many great trick shots, including one from up in a tree. There were lots of other great shots, apparently, including a Tonight Show video of Tiger Woods teeing off from a freeway.