Jimmy Fallon: Thank You Notes
Fallon said that today is Friday, which is when he usually catches up on his personal stuff. He checks his inbox and replies to emails, and, of course, he sends his thank you notes. He did his Thank You Notes segment. He said that he was running a bit behind today, so he wrote out his thank you notes right then.
Tonight Show: Thank You Notes Quesarito & Justin Bieber
He wrote, “Thank you, Taco Bell’s new Quesarito, for being a burrito stuffed inside a quesadilla stuffed inside a stoner.” That one kind of got gross. He then wrote, “Thank you, Justin Bieber, for being in yet another video where you can be seen making racial slurs. You’re really developing quite a Sterling reputation (cue Donald Sterling picture).” That one was great.
Jimmy Fallon: Thank You Notes Relationships
Fallon then wrote, “Thank you, microwave ding, for reminding me that my dinner is ready and that my ex-wife is never coming back.” That was a sad one. Sticking with the relationships theme, he then wrote, “Thank you, ring bearers at weddings, for allowing the bride and groom to entrust their most valuable jewelry to a four-year-old who still picks their nose.” This one was gross.
Tonight Show Thank You Notes: NBA Finals
He then wrote, “Thank you, LeBron James, for cramping up at the game last night and having to be carried off the court. Or, as I call that, playing basketball for more than five minutes.” This one was great. Keeping with the NBA finals, he then wrote, “Thank you, the lack of air conditioning at last night’s NBA finals game, for making the sweaty players wish that all the fans in the arena were ‘fans,’” That was a great pun.
Jimmy Fallon: Thank You Notes Old Belts & Fruit in Yogurt
He then said, “Thank you, old belts, for sticking with me through thick and thin and then thick again.” That was a great one. He then wrote, “Thank you, fruit at the bottom yogurt. For making me feel like I’m digging for treasure in old milk.” That one was kind of gross too.
Check out the video here:
Tonight Show: GNC Beat Average
Fallon was running on a treadmill and did an ad and talked about the new “Health and wellness campaign” from GNC called “Beat Average.” He said that nobody wants to just be average. His treadmill went faster and faster and part of his pants came off.