Kathie Lee & Hoda: When to Let Go of Friends
Psychologist Dale Atkins and Rana Florida, author of Upgrade: Taking Your Work and Life from Ordinary to Extraordinary, came on the Today Show to talk with Kathie Lee and Hoda about letting go of friends. While some friends come around for the the long run, there are some that you have to know when to let go of. Rana’s book is all about how to get time affluence, because time is your most valuable resource, and knowing who and what to spend it on is a very valuable thing to be aware of. Fortunately, there are only really three things you need to do, according to Rana: have fun, be productive, and give back. If any of your friends don’t help you with one of these, they need to go, she says.
Kathie Lee & Hoda: Toxic Friends
While some friends are great 99 percent of the time, there are others that are just not on their game, and can be toxic. If there is 15 percent of the time where that friend is hurting you or bringing you down, they probably aren’t worth it. It’s not just about the time that you spend with that friend, but the time you spend alone thinking, worrying, and wondering about that friend. If the friend is a negative influence, this will only make times like this more difficult. It could turn you into a friend that you don’t like being.
Today Show: How to Rate Your Friends
Friendships have to be reciprocal in some way, and if you’re growing, while your friend doesn’t seem to have had a fresh thought in the, say, 30 years you’ve known each other, it might be time to play a game Rana Florida calls, “Rate Your Friends.” You start by making a list of everyone you’re spending time with. Then, put a mark next to their name: a minus sign, a zero, or a plus sign. A friend with a negative sign is full of bad energy or are draining to you. A zero is someone who neither adds value, nor takes away from it (that is usually your friend who is always bored and texting you to ask what is going on?). A positive is someone you’re growing with and who you always enjoy spending time with. Anyone who gets a zero or a negative needs to go.
How to Get Rid of a Friend
When it comes around to shedding yourself of the friend, there isn’t any one way to do it. Ultimately, though, you just need to do it in a way that doesn’t trash them, but allows them to maintain their dignity. IF you really don’t want to let them go, though, you can always just have them in your life, but spend less time with them.