The Drs TV: Controlling Your Children
A woman shared with The Doctors that she is a single mom to her 4-year-old son Al David, and shared that she was brought him in a home that was very combative, and she doesn’t want to be the parent that her parents were to her.
She shared that she doesn’t believe in fear or intimidation when raising a child, but it sets her off when her son uses foul language. She said her son also loves to just take off on her no matter where they are, and says she hates having her 4-year-old son laughing at her and disrespecting her. She also shared that when she tells her son it’s time to stop watching videos, he doesn’t want to stop and it ends up being an argument. She said she feels as if she has no control over her son.
The Doctors: “Permission To Parent” Dr. Robin Berman
The woman, named Lisa, joined the show along with psychiatrist Dr. Robin Berman, author of Permission To Parent. Dr. Berman told Lisa that first she had to “grab the reins of that horse” and explained that the hierarchy of you’re the parent and he’s the kid, keeps your kid safe. She said there’s a safety to limits, but it’s about how we set the limit. She said when it comes to your kids, they should know they don’t yell or call names. Dr. Berman said that with her kids, they sit a limit of love and respect.
Dr. Berman pointed out how after Al David throws a tantrum, Lisa gives him a hug and tells him she loves him. She said that as a psychiatrist, she sees that Lisa is reinforcing the tantrum, when she should be reinforcing the good behavior. She said hugs and “I love you’s” shouldn’t be given after a tantrum. Dr. Berman said Lisa should know that she also cannot parent without power. She said it’s impossible to parent and not be in the power position.
She said it’s a gift to Al David to let her be the parent and let him be the child. Lisa said she was ready to make some changes and set some boundaries.