David Letterman: Baseball Top 10
Before Dave could count down the Top 10 Signs Your Baseball Team Is Not Ready For Opening Day, he was interrupted with a joke warning from the government.
Late Show: CPSC TV Recall
The Late Show was interrupted by an April Fool’s bulletin from the Consumer Product Safety Commission, which warned that any television set manufactured between 1946 and 2013, it could spontaneously combust.
Just to be clear, this was a joke, and you should probably not return your TV based on instructions from David Letterman’s show.
The spot also suggested that a late night talk show of her own could be in the cards for the beleaguered Amanda Knox.
David Letterman: Are Baseball Games Too Long?
It was a sports-themed Top 10 List in honor of baseball’s opening day. Are you a big baseball fan? There are definitely a lot of games to keep track of over the course of a year, and that’s not even counting the playoffs.
Letterman recalled watching the Indianapolis Indians, which were linked to the Cleveland Indians. He said the games used to take no longer than two and a half hours, but now the games are stretching longer.
“We love football, but what if football was eight hours?” Dave wondered. Don’t even get him started on soccer.
Late Show: Top 10 Signs Your Baseball Team Is Not Ready For The Season
In that spirit, Dave presented the Top 10 Signs Your Baseball Team Isn’t Ready For The Season.
- 10. Your first baseman is so fat, he’s also your second baseman.
- 9. Your cleanup hitter has asked to work from home.
- 8. Most of your players believe the uniform buttons in the back.
- 7. Minutes before first pitch, clubhouse kid runs to Dick’s to buy bats.
- 6. Already planning your October vacations.
- 5. Most players spend off-season attempting to steal back their memorabilia.
- 4. Opening day giveaway is a letter of apology from the general manager.
- 3. Something’s still not quite right with the big dance number.
- 2. Team doctor: Conrad Murray.
- 1. You’re the New York Mets.