David Letterman: George HW Bush Turns 90
Letterman kept going over who George H.W. Bush is. He had to remind us which Bush he really was. Well, this George Bush is actually turning 90 years old tomorrow. Letterman said he’s thought that he was doing pretty well. He played an announcement about the birthday that they had. It talked about how Sunday is “I wish I wasn’t a Father’s Day” and played a clip of the younger George Bush and also wished him a happy birthday.
Late Show: Top Ten Miss USA Pageant Mistakes with Nia Sanchez
Letterman did the Top Ten. Tonight’s Top Ten was “Top Ten Miss USA Pageant Mistakes.” Miss USA Nia Sanchez was going to be on the show, so it was perfect. Letteman said that this Top Ten doesn’t necessarily just apply to Miss USA pageants, but to all kinds of pageants in general.
They don’t call them beauty pageants anymore. Paul Shaffer said that they call them “exercises in higher living” now. Letterman loved that. Of course! That’s what they call them!
Nia Sanchez actually came out for the Top Ten. She was Miss Nevada. She was wearing her crown. She’s also a fourth degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. That’s so impressive! Letterman kept saying Tae Kwon Do over and over again. Sanchez is going on to represent the United States in the Miss Universe pageant later this year.
Letterman said that she made no mistakes because you can’t make mistakes and be crowned Miss USA. She’d be the best one to comment on what the pitfalls can be. “Being here is her only mistake,” Letterman said. He thanked her and congratulated her. He gave her flowers after the Top Ten. The Top Ten were:
- 10. Pronouncing USA “OOSA.”
- 9. Telling the judges you’ll be late due to a gang-related commitment.
- 8. You’re the only one on stage eating ribs.
- 7. Blaming poor performance on a hoof injury.
- 6. Forgetting which Dakota you represent.
- 5. Devoting interview to pointing out your chigger bites.
- 4. Blasting air horn to drown out the other contestants.
- 3. Describing the tiara as “pawnable.”
- 2. Lightening the mood with a Donald Trump joke.
- 1. You keep shouting, “Long Live Vladimir Putin.”
Check out the video here: