David Letterman: Oyster Colored Socks
David Letterman was wearing weird socks. I guess he wanted to show them off, so he rolled his pants up. He said, “I wish I had a nickel for every time a person came up to me and said, ‘Dave, why do you wear oyster colored socks?’” I have a hard time believing that really happens.
Late Show: Stanley Cup, Triple Crown & the Tony’s
There’s a big weekend coming up. It’s the Stanley Cup with the New York Rangers and the LA Kings. Plus, there’s horse racing. It’s the third race in the Triple Crown. It’s the Belmont Stakes. It’s also the Tony Awards, which I’m really excited for. Letterman said, “If you like hockey, and if you like horse racing, and if you like Broadway shows, you’re the only one.” That’s very true. They don’t usually go together.
David Letterman: Stanley Cup Bet
Letterman talked about how the mayors of both cities make bets when there are big sports games. The mayor of LA said they’d give New York a crate of avocados. Letterman said that the New York mayor said that he’d send a ferret.
Late Show: California Chrome Beard
Letterman doesn’t know much about horse racing, but he’s very excited about California Chrome. He’s amazing. Letterman said that players often grow a playoff beard. Well, he showed a picture of California Chrome, and apparently he did too! It was really weird looking, but it was funny.
David Letterman: Miss USA Pageant
Sunday is also the Miss USA Pageant. Letterman loves the talent potion. He said that Miss Nevada’s talent is illegally grazing cattle on federal land. Miss. New Jersey’s talent is closing a bridge at rush hour. That was great!
Late Show: Politician Sleep Off
Letterman did the “politician sleep-off.” He showed videos of politicians sleeping and saw who woke up first. John Kerry was the first up. He went against Newt Gingrich. It was a tough one, but Gingrich won.
Check out the video here:
David Letterman: POW Trade
Letterman said that CBS is trading him for five Taliban prisoners. President Obama said that the United States never leaves soldiers behind, but Letterman said that’s just because we never leave. This was too true. Letterman said that the POW was in the prison for five years. He’s recovering in a hospital in Germany now because he couldn’t get into a VA hospital until 2020. This was also too true.
Late Show: Politician Sleep-Off Round 2
Letterman did another round of “politician sleep-off.” It was Newt Gingrich versus Bill Clinton. Clinton won this round. It’s ridiculous that they just sleep through these things like that. Aren’t their jobs important?
David Letterman: 911 Emergency Man Spilled Beer
Letterman said that he’s going to give people the benefit of the doubt and say that they’re just confused, but some people just do stupid things. He talked about how a guy called 911 because he spilled his beer. That can’t be real. He must have been really drunk to think that was a good idea. Letterman said, “Rob Ford, please get some help!” Rob Ford jokes never get old!