David Letterman: Late Show Audience
David Letterman came out and said “Five people? I ain’t doing no show for five people!” I didn’t really get it, but the audience seemed to. I guess he was joking that there wasn’t really a crowd even though there was.
Late Show: OJ Simpson Trial 20th Anniversary
It’s the 20th anniversary of the OJ Simpson arrest. The trial went on for a long time. 300 million people were watching and remember where they were when they said, “You’re kidding!” It was a landmark court case. One of the reasons was because it gave us the rhyming defense. It was the first time they did that! Later in his life, Simpson was convicted for stealing sports memorabilia. Something doesn’t seem right about that.
David Letterman: Fake Mr. Softie
There’s always something going on in New York City, and that’s what makes it great. Letterman doesn’t care if it’s something really good or really creepy. He brought up Mr. Softie. He said it’s called that because it’s improperly refrigerated.
He talked about the fake Mr. Softie. The CEO of Mr. Softie is outraged. Letterman showed a picture of him. It was hilarious. It looked like a real life version of the Mr. Softie picture. Letterman said there are things to look for to make sure that you don’t get the wrong one. He played the music of the real and fake trucks. The fake one was hilarious.
Late Show: Your Tax Dollars at Work
Letterman did a new installment of “Your Tax Dollars at Work.” It was for New York State. He’s done this before. He showed a debate of the official amphibian of the state. It was hilarious. They were arguing over frogs, but they passed the bill. Good job!
David Letterman: Cue Cards
Letterman was having a problem reading the cue cards. They showed it and something was off about it. Letterman kept calling for Tony. Tony was trying to leave and left a dummy in his place. He started talking in Spanish. He went back to his spot by the camera. “I was so close to freedom I could taste it,” Tony said.
Late Show: Eric Cantor Primary Loss
There was a big upset during the primaries. House majority leader Eric Cantor lost. The audience clapped. He wanted to be Speaker of the House so he could have the giant gavel. “I think that’s the punch line to another joke,” Letterman said. Oops!
He spent $5 million on his primary election campaign. Letterman said there’s something wrong with this country if “you can no longer buy an election.” That was great. He spent $168,000 on steakhouses alone. Letterman joked that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie said, “That’s it?”