David Letterman: New York City Weather
David Letterman came out and started a great monologue. He first talked about how great it is to be in New York. He talked about the weather today, which was “81 and cloudy, like Donald Sterling.” This was so funny and spot on. Donald Sterling jokes never get old.
Late Show: Victor Espinoza Guest
Letterman talked about his guests for tonight. Victor Espinoza, the jockey, was coming. He hasn’t had very many jockeys on the show. His horse was California Chrome. Letterman joked he was on Fallon tonight. He’s also the only guest who hasn’t objected to the pre-show weigh in. He joked that they always do weigh ins. California Chrome might win the Triple Crown, which is very exciting. Letterman wants him to win because he said he has trouble remembering the Double Crown winners.
David Letterman: Ferrets Legal in New York
New York City is still on top, it’s still cutting edge, and the best and all that. Letterman struggled to express that, but everyone got it. He was getting a little flustered and started to get off topic. He said he was looking forward to spending more time around the house because he’s retiring and was clearly having a moment. The point was, New York is on the forefront of the ferret movement.
Letterman talked about how the mayor is legalizing ownership of ferrets. People can have pet ferrets now. He’s obsessed with this ferret thing. His Top Ten list was on questions people should ask themselves before they get ferrets. He thinks it’s so strange. I think they’re pretty cute actually.
He said that people always make excuses to travel other places, but people don’t have to say they’re not going to New York because they can’t bring the ferrets anymore. There’s no excuse! Letterman wanted to know if they were legalizing the thing on Donald Trump’s head. It was perfect. They played a clip of it moving around and trying to escape.
Late Show: President Obama Working Out
Letterman talked about President Obama. He thinks being President would be terrible. Nobody wants to be President. President Obama’s actually in Poland at the G7 summit. It was going to be somewhere else, but they decided not to invite the Russians and apparently had to move it because of that. The world’s crazy. Letterman played “live footage” that he got from his friend at CBS News of President Obama working out in the gym there. It was him just working out. It was hilarious. Letterman said he’s in great shape.