David Letterman: I am the Mighty T Rex
“I am the mighty T Rex,” David Letterman said when he first came out. Apparently it’s an inside joke between him and the audience. It’s a song about dinosaurs and the whole audience was just singing it before the show started. They were very excited that he brought it up. He thought it was interesting. They were singing with a guy from Pennsylvania. The tickets are free and the audience provides its own entertainment! What a deal!
Late Show: Central Park Carriage Horse Breaks Loose
Letterman brought up the horse and carriage rides in central park. Apparently one of the horses got loose today and slammed into a cab. “It’s been a tough couple of days for California Chrome,” he said. That was too soon! Poor California Chrome!
David Letterman: Rangers Down Three Nothing
The Rangers are down three to nothing against the Kings. Things are not looking good for them. He said not to give up. He said it’s the best of seven, “which is like Governor Christie at the Golden Corral.” The Kings only need to win one more and they’ll be “the best team in the world playing ice hockey in Los Angeles.” Letterman said that Republicans say that ice hockey in Los Angeles is proof that there’s no global warming. That was perfect.
Late Show: Phony Mr. Softie
Great and terrible things happen in New York City. There are now phony Mr. Softie trucks. That’s terrible! “Somebody turn on the bat signal,” Letterman said. He showed a picture of the real Mr. Softie and a police sketch of the fake one. It was great. Letterman joked Mr. Softie was his nickname in college.
David Letterman: Rates Feel Remorse
There was a new study. Letterman talked about worrying about animal testing and the lab rats. The new study indicates that rats can feel and sense regret and remorse. Letterman couldn’t believe it. Luckily, they caught up with a rat today. He showed a video of a rat climbing on a man on the subway and then his inner monologue. He felt bad until he saw pizza. It was hilarious.
Late Show: President Obama at Starbucks
President Obama, who Letterman accidentally called President Starbuck, went on a walk to Starbucks. Letterman said that if he can afford to go there, the economy must be getting better. It was great. He went on to say that he was working on his laptop there on another deal for the Taliban prisoners. The audience did not like that one. He had his favorite coffee “The Kenyan Socialist.”
David Letterman: Obama Care Six-Month Anniversary
Being the President is nothing but bad news, but he had good news today. It’s the six-month anniversary of Obama Care. Letterman wondered if it even made a difference. He sent a camera crew down to St. Vincent’s Hospital to see the changes and how they were celebrating the anniversary. They were partying!
Late Show: Hillary Clinton’s Big Mistake
Diane Sawyer interviewed Hillary Clinton about her time as Secretary of State and her new book. Letterman had an excerpt from it. She talked about why she lost and she also blamed her Top Ten list on the Late Show. It was “the heart of the suffering.” That’s awful, but it was so funny.
Check out the video here: