David Letterman: Barbara Walters Out of Retirement
David Letterman came out and repeatedly thanked the audience. “Thank you for that lovely ovation. It lasted nearly as long as Barbara Walters’ retirement,” he said. That was great. She retired last week, but she’s out of retirement. “She’s gonna play one more season for the Jets,” he said.
Late Show: Father’s Day Gifts
Sunday is Father’s Day. Letterman asked how many people actually enjoy Father’s Day and how many regard it “as the lump in the carpet you have to pound flat.” Apparently he doesn’t like Father’s Day. He said to just get your dad a tie. “This country is getting more and more formal,” he said.
David Letterman: World’s Oldest Man Dies
The world’s oldest man, who lived in New York, passed away at 111 years old. “Boy, I didn’t see that coming,” Letterman said. Before he passed away, he said that he attributed his long life to a lot of exercise, healthy eating, and no alcohol. Letterman wouldn’t want to live ten years like that. That was hilarious.
Late Show: Regis Philbin
Regis Philbin is going to be on the show tonight. He’s difficult to book. They had to trade five Taliban prisoners just to get him.
David Letterman: Spanish Television is Better
Letterman did a brand new segment called “Spanish Television is Better.” He played a video of people partying in a hospital. I think it was the same video from when he talked about the Obamacare anniversary.
Late Show: Pants Robbery
Two police officers and a man in his underpants came on stage. The officers said he was robbed of his pants and they were just checking around. They asked the guy if Letterman’s pants were really his pants. They weren’t. It was really strange. Letterman said he would get a beating if this were in Utah.
David Letterman: Donald Trump Turning 68
Donald Trump‘s birthday is coming up. He’s turning 68 years old. “I’d like to see his birth certificate,” Letterman said. That was priceless. They’re going to have a great cake. Letterman saw a picture of it. He said it’s 43 stories high with retail and parking. It’s unbelievable.
Late Show: Spanish Television is Better
Letterman did another installment of “Spanish Television is Better.” This time two guys were fighting ridiculously. “What could possibly be going on?” Letterman said.
David Letterman: Radio Shack Closing
Radio Shack is in trouble financially. Letterman loves it there. He goes in all the time to ask for directions to Best Buy. That was hilarious. They’re closing down. He wondered where he was going to get parts for his Scientology E-meter now.
Check out the video here: