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Home > Ellen DeGeneres Show > Ellen Jokes
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Ellen Wrapping Presents, Guest DJ Twitch & Turtle Helps Another Turtle

Ellen: Wrapping Presents

Ellen kicked off her show by talking about how important it is to be present during the holidays. Then she said she was going to help them be present by giving them presents for the 12 Days of Giveaways.

Twitch was Ellen's guest DJ and he shared his present-wrapping secret. Ellen reminded everyone they could see him in Magic Mike 2. (Joe Seer / Shutterstock.com)

Twitch was Ellen’s guest DJ and he shared his present-wrapping secret. Ellen reminded everyone they could see him in ‘Magic Mike 2.’ (Joe Seer / Shutterstock.com)

Ellen asked her audience how many of them had trouble gift wrapping and they all cheered. Ellen said wrapping a present is a lot of work. First you have to get the scissors from the junk drawer and then get the tape. Unless the tape is a brand new roll, then you’re going to be looking for the beginning forever.

“This is true. Last night, I spent an hour going around and around a roll of Scotch tape before I put it down and went for real scotch,” Ellen joked.

Once you finally get the present wrapped, Ellen said, you realize you’re an inch short. Then you think about cutting off a little strip, but she called this the “comb-over of presents.”

Ellen TV: Wrapping a Gift in 15 Seconds

Ellen showed a video of a woman wrapping a present in 15 seconds. “With a box it’s easy, but Portia wants a pony. What do I do with that?’ Ellen joked.

Ellen tried to do what the woman in the video did and showed the results. It was a very messily wrapped gift that was mostly a mound of wrapping paper. “You’d never know these were earrings, though, right?” Ellen joked.

Then Ellen pointed out there’s an easier way to wrap gifts. It’s called a bag. Ellen demonstrated the usefulness of the bag. Ellen has her own line of holiday bags from her line called E.D. on Air, which you can get on QVC.

Ellen: Twitch Wrapping Presents

Ellen introduced her guest DJ Twitch. He said he wasn’t good at gift wrapping. But he has a secret.

“I use tissue paper and as I’m giving them the gift, I start a speech, right? So while I’m saying the speech, they’re kind of unwrapping, and when I’m done, they haven’t noticed that it wasn’t wrapped. And they just see the present. You see what I’m saying?” Twitch said.

“Well, your friends are drunk or stupid. How do you not notice that a gift’s not wrapped?” Ellen joked.

Ellen joked that if you want to see Twitch demonstrate “how to properly wrap a package” you can see him in Magic Mike 2. 

Ellen TV: Cats Playing in the Snow

Ellen then showed a video of two cats playing in the snow. There were two cats and they were having a lot of fun bouncing around the mounds of snow.

Ellen: Turtle Helps Another Turtle

Ellen said she believed animals are intelligent in ways we’ll never understand. She showed a video of a turtle helping another turtle who was stuck upside down. The turtle was slow because he was a turtle, but he was able to flip his friend.

Ellen TV: Holiday Emojis

Ellen showed several emojis, including a Santa Claus emoji and a snowman with a yarmulke. Then Ellen showed an emoji with a smiley face winking. Ellen said to younger people, it means just kidding. To older people, it means, “I only took half the Ambien.” Then there was a pair of clapping hands. This means good job to younger people, but it means “Turn light bulb on” to older people. There were many others and they were all hilarious.

Ellen: 12 Days of Giveaways Surprise

Ellen got a letter from a girl named Taylor who said she and her friend Rachel loved Ellen and they’d been fans for a long time. They really wanted to meet Ellen. Ellen Skyped with Taylor, her mom, her sister, and two friends, including Rachel. They thought they were going to Skype with a producer, but it turned out to be Ellen.

They all freaked out and jumped up and down when they saw Ellen. They were screaming a lot. Ellen just kept trying to say hi. This went on for like a solid hilarious minute. Ellen gave them all some Ellen underwear.

Because it was Day 10 of Ellen’s 12 Days of Giveaways, Ellen gave the women all of the things she was going to give her audience. They all jumped up and down with joy.

Filed Under: Ellen Jokes Tagged With: ellen 12 days, Ellen 12 Days Of Giveaways, Ellen Cats Playing In The Snow, Ellen Emojis, Ellen Turtle Helps Another Turtle, ellen tWitch, Ellen Wrapping Presents

   

About Alex Belz

I'm a writer from Michigan who loves watching television and drinking coffee and I feel very lucky to get paid to do both all day long.

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