“Is This a Swim Suit?” Season
What gets you down more than bathing suits? That whole, “You have a few weeks until bathing suit season?” That’s just annoying. Ellen said that she was recently looking for a conservative one-piece bathing suit and found some interesting offenders.
First up, a pink panda. No, we’re not kidding. The front of the suit is a pink panda and the back is a bow with a strappy open back. Ellen didn’t think it was finished yet. Another one piece option leaves horrible tan lines. At $144, it will make your tummy look like a “garden trellace,” Ellen said. But fear not, it gets worse and worse. Crochet swim suits are for women that are overly confident.
“I shower in more than this,” Ellen said.
The final suit was “not for anyone,” Ellen said. It resembled the Sacha Baron Cohen swim-overall. Not cute, not cute at all.
Ellen’s Niece Eva Turns One
Ellen’s niece turned one on April 30. Ellen and her family had a party at their farm. Portia surprised Eva with a pony ride and now she’s going to have to buy her a horse. She’s just too cute.
Little Boy Gets Hit By Mail
A lesson in bad parenting came from Ellen’s YouTube clip of the day. A little baby boy was waiting for the mail in front of their mail slot. He’s just chilling there and the mail hits him in the mouth. He will have nightmares about the postman for the rest of his life.
Rosetta Stone Makes Whale Language
The creepiest language you can learn is Whale. As spoken by the talented Ellen DeGeneres, Rosetta Stone has made a special set of language discs. You can learn Whale just like Dory from Finding Nemo and Finding Dory.
Just kidding, but isn’t this informercial hilarious?