Ellen: Going to the Drugstore
Ellen kicked off her show by asking her audience where she was this morning. The audience through out several guesses, but Ellen said they were terrible guessers. It turns out she was at the drugstore. And why was she at the drugstore? Again, her audience were terrible guessers.
She went there to buy sunscreen. It may be October, but where Ellen is, the temperature was in the high 90s. She thought she didn’t have any sunscreen, so she went and bought some. When she got home, her sunscreen was there after all. It was in her junk drawer.
Ellen TV: Junk Drawers
The sunscreen was in there with her Post-Its, which she also thought she lost. She kept wanting to buy more, but there was no way to remind herself because she was out of Post-Its.
Ellen said no one ever plans to have a junk drawer. When you move into a new house, you think it’s going to be different. But before you know it, you have a junk drawer. At first, the junk drawer is for pads and pens. And then you think you should put your scissors in there, because that makes sense. Then the tape goes in there, followed by the flashlight, in case you have to write something in the dark.
Then you put two rubber bands in there and somehow thousands of loose ones show up. Then you put a half deck of cards, floss, a letter opener, a combination lock you don’t have the combination to, a remote control you’ve never seen before, a roll of dimes, a key chain, a lint roller, and a bunch of pesos.
“What’s my point, you’re asking me? I don’t have one. Just thought I’d tell you what I did this morning, which was to go buy some sunscreen,” she said.
Ellen: Congratulations to the Clintons
Ellen congratulated the Clintons, because this week Chelsea Clinton gave birth to a baby girl named Charlotte, which makes Hillary and Bill grandparents.
Ellen showed what she said was Charlotte’s first baby picture. It was a giant picture of a baby with “Charlotte 2052” at the top and “Change My Diaper” on the bottom.
“And you know there are gonna be people out there that are going to go, ‘Oh, America’s not ready for a baby president,'” Ellen said.
Ellen TV: Football Players Using Tablets
Ellen said that the NFL is doing a new thing where they’re using new technology on the sidelines, such as tablets to study their opponents’ moves and things like that. Ellen said it seemed like a good idea, but she thought some of them were doing things they shouldn’t.
Then she showed hilarious altered footage where they were playing Candy Crush, Angry Birds, and Ellen’s game, Heads Up.
Then Ellen talked about the Kloons, who will be on her show soon. The Kloons have made several viral videos in their series called Sisters, where this guy records conversations between his mom and his aunt and then him and his friend act out the conversations. Ellen showed several of the videos and they were funny.