Ellen TV: Good and Bad Dates
Ellen kicked off her show by asking her audience if they’ve been on a good date recently. At first, just one person raised their hand. Then slowly, people started raising their hands. “Now, suddenly you’re remembering them. You’re sitting right next to them, like, ‘Oh, yeah. That’s right,'” Ellen joked.
She asked how many of them had been on bad dates recently. The crowd cheered. Not only had they been on bad dates, they were happy about it!
Ellen said there’s a new app called Dorothy. It’s a small device that slips into your shoes. If you’re on a bad date, you click your heels three times and the app calls a friend, sends you a text, or calls an Uber so you can escape. That’s a real app.
Ellen said she used to scream, “Look over there!” and then run away.
Ellen: Excuses to Get Out of Dates
Ellen asked her audience for their best bad date excuses and heard some great bad date stories. (Kzenon / Shutterstock.com)
Ellen polled her audience to find what great excuses they’ve used to get out of bad dates. She talked to Cecily, who said she was on a terrible blind date and she told him she had to go home because she had morning sickness. Cecily said it definitely got her home quickly.
Then there was Christie, who said her date got so drunk she decided to hide from him in a restaurant freezer. Christie said both of them worked at the restaurant. Neither of them were working at the time, but he took her there on a date. She said that should have been her first red flag. She said she was in there for at least 20 minutes.
The last person was Leah and she said she had a bad first date, so she told him she couldn’t go out again because her thermostat was broken and she couldn’t turn it on because her cat may freeze and she couldn’t turn it off because her cat might overheat. So he called his friend to come over and fix it. After that, she felt so bad she went out with him and a year later, they got married.
Ellen said because all three of them shared their dates, dinner was on her. She gave them each gift cards to cover dinner.
Ellentube Videos
Ellen shared some videos from her new site Ellentube. Among the videos on the site, there’s several cute videos. One was a baby trying an orange for the first time. The baby ate it for about three seconds because he freaked out and made a sour face. It was really unclear whether the baby liked it or not.
Next, there was a cat walking along the counter by the toaster. When the toaster went off, the cat jumped up off the counter, terrified.
Ellen TV: Laugh Lessons Review
Ellen is producing an AOL web series called Laugh Lessons. The show is hosted by Kevin Nealon and it invites comedians to teach kids how to be funny. Ellen showed a clip from the show where Sarah Silverman helped teach kids about comedy.
In the clip, Kevin Nealon said comedy is important to teach kids, because aside from comedy, he and Sarah really had nothing. Sarah wondered what he meant, because he has a wife and a child. “But you have nothing, though,” Kevin joked.
One kid told Sarah a joke. Why did the teddy bear never eat anything? Because it was always stuffed. Sarah joked that they were going to talk about courtesy laughter vs. real laughter. Kevin Nealon demonstrated with his back facing away from the kids. Sarah told him a joke and his back started jiggling, but when he turned around he revealed he wasn’t really laughing.
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