Dr. Phil: Mary’s Traumatic Childhood Abuse
Growing up, Mary was a victim of child abuse. Not knowing exactly when it happened, she thinks it happened at around age four, and was carried out by two people. Her parents were never around to keep an eye on her because they were always at work. By age four, she knew what a man’s private parts looked like, and that left her confused. She wonders if this is linked to her promiscuity as a teenager. This dysfunctional childhood also drew her to Jesse because of his troublesome youth.
Mary, after the abuse as a child, was hungry for Jesse’s love, and it was not hard for her to convince herself that she needed him in her life—children and all. As she put it deeper and deeper, she lost more and more respect for herself, which was reflected on to her marriage.
Dr. Phil: Taking Responsibility For The Present
Dr. Phil sympathizes with what happened to her as a child and absolved her of all responsibility. However, as to what she does about it now and how she deals with it, that is entirely her responsibility. You can’t let what happened years ago steer the rest of your life. Dr. Phil shifted the all responsibility for what happens in the rest of Mary’s life onto her.
Mary and Jesse’s marriage has been built on deception and lies, and Dr. Phil doesn’t know if the marriage can or should be saved, but he wanted to get both Jesse and Mary separate professional help to counsel them on their marital problems. Despite the couple’s uncertain future, Dr. Phil did say it would get better quickly. “You can’t fall off the floor,” he said to much laughter.