Leah Plays the Victim & Dr Phil Confronts Problems
Leah and Curtis lost their daughter, Jessica, 10 years ago in a devastating car accident. Leah has asked Dr Phil, straight up, how she can heal herself, her marriage, and her family life.
Dr Phil said that Leah has the victim role down to an artform. She will collect her problems and resentment and then attack Curtis with them out of the blue. While Dr Phil did a good dissection of Curtis’ personality, Leah is no Mother Theresa. She’s told her husband she wishes he were dead instead of her daughter, and there is nothing that deserves that kind of anger.
Dr Phil said that moving on is not going to ruin the memory of her daughter. Packing up Jessica’s room will not tarnish her memory. What is best for the family is to move on together, start fresh and give the kids all the love.
Dr Phil Offers Bedroom Makeover to Help Grief
When the time is right, and sooner than later, Dr Phil has offered to help Leah redecorate Jessica’s bedroom.
“You need to go through in an orderly fashion,” he advised. “You need to put them in a place of honor, where they are not to be forgotten. Then you need to allow the family to move in and use and interact with the space that was hers.”
An excellent idea for the family, Dr Phil said, would be to hold a memorial ceremony. Michael didn’t get to attend his sister’s funeral, so this would be a fresh chance for closure. The family can all say something about Jessica. “You bless that room, and you bless that space, and you bless her,” Dr Phil said.
Michael said that that would mean a lot to him. Dr Phil offered to help Leah redo the bedroom, when she is ready.
Dr Phil: Marriage After Losing A Child
Dr Phil told Leah and Curtis they need to give their marriage a real shot. He gave them specialized help and told them to wait 90 days before making any major moves.
“You have emotional vertigo right now,” he said. “You have resentments built up—some of them real, some of them not. If it’s a good idea [to get a divorce] now, it’ll be a good idea 90 days from now.”
The couple agreed.