Dr. Phil: Why Does This Dad Say He Wished He’d Never Adopted His Son?

Dr. Phil: Terrible Father Or Out Of Control Son?

Dr. Phil has been sitting down with Karen and Tim, who say their 24-year-old adopted son Adam is completely out of control. The father has said a number of things that lead me to suspect this isn’t as black and white as he’d like, including that he wished they’d never adopted Adam. Like the audience, I recoiled from this statement because I believe once you become a parent or a guardian to someone, that’s not a conditional agreement. You don’t have to like your kid, but you do have to love them.

But that’s not the worst Tim had to say about Adam. Before listing them, I would like to also say that Tim and Karen claim Adam is violent, a drug abuser, and suicidal. For these reasons, they kicked him out of the house three years ago and got a restraining order against him. Even so, here’s what Tim has to say about Adam:

• “I don’t care what happens to him.”
• “There’s a lot of times where I look at Adam and I don’t even see my son there. It’s like he died in high school and whoever this other person is, he’s not my son.”
• “I regret the day that we went to Santa Cruz and adopted Adam. If Karen and I would’ve just passed the hospital and went over to the Humane Society and picked up a couple of strays, we would’ve been much better off.”

As you can see, Tim is trying to be on the cover of Good Parenting this year.

Dr. Phil: Love The Child You Have

Luckily for Adam, he does have an advocate on his side in the form of his mother Karen. Karen said that she couldn’t cut her son out of her life no matter what he’s done. She said she can’t force a relationship between Tim and Adam, but she also can’t just never speak to her son again. She’s had him see psychologists who say he might have Bipolar Disorder. She’s also gotten him into four rehabs and done everything she can think of to help him.

“What I want for Adam is to have peace. At the end of the day, I will always forgive Adam because I love him and I can’t write him off,” she said.

Dr. Phil: Why Does This Father Say He Wished He’d Never Adopted His Son?

Tim told Dr. Phil he was done. When Dr. Phil asked, “What kind of parent could say that?” about his comment of wishing he’d never adopted his son, Tim responded this way:

“Let me tell you. You know, I was a police officer for 30 years and I’ve dealt with a lot of issues and I look at this kid, to me, when he went to college, we lost him,” he said.

Did you see what he did there? He responded with what he does for a living and blamed college for what happened. He didn’t actually respond with any feeling. He shifted the blame and tried to get us on his side. Being a police officer and “dealing with issues” has absolutely nothing to do with raising a child. I mean, it’s an honorable profession. But it’s irrelevant.

Tim went on to say he came on Dr. Phil to help his wife let go of their son. Tim said he wasn’t there to repair his relationship with his son.

“You say he’s an animal that belongs in a cage?” Dr. Phil said.

“Absolutely,” Tim said.

Dr. Phil: Has He Really Done Enough As A Parent?

Tim said that he’d given Adam everything he could need for the past six years and it hasn’t helped. Really, Tim? Even though during three of those years Adam was banned from the house? Oh, and when was he banned from the house again? After trying to kill himself three times? Yep, Tim, you’ve done a bang-up job as a parent.

“He needs to bottom out,” Tim said. “Somewhere along the line, he needs the safety net pulled out from under him, where he can then go, ‘Wow, I’ve got a problem. I need to move on with my life.’” 

Once again, I would like to point out that this kid has tried to kill himself three times. And Tim’s solution is that the kid has “the safety net pulled out from under him.” What does that look like? Hungry and fending for himself on the streets with absolutely no one looking out for him? For Dr. Phil’s part, he said this: “That’s Dr. Tim’s analysis — Dr. Phil’s may be different.”

Seriously, Tim. That’s horrible. I hope this kid is a total Frankenstein monster when he comes out, because so far, Tim is the worst person in this equation.