Dr Phil: Scared Of My Spouse
Sue is afraid of her husband Andy. She has told Dr Phil that he abuses her, uses her and then expects her to be a perfect wife. Andy gets mad when Sue doesn’t pull her weight around the house. They have split up and reunited several times over the last 20 years, but they are now at a breaking point in their relationship.
Dr Phil said that Sue and Andy are self-medicating with alcohol and not working through their relationship.
Sue’s kids got to weigh in on their stepfather. Ashley, 21, said she is afraid of the way that Andy treats her mother. Blain, 25, is afraid of the effect this relationship is having on Ashley. Dr Phil needs to help this couple sort out their drama and find a solution to the mess.
Dr Phil: Finding Common Ground
Dr Phil said that Sue and Andy have something in common. Rage and anger is a result of being hurt and protecting yourself. This is their way of getting the other person to hurt first. By saying you are hurt and scared you are trying to protect yourself from your real feelings.
Andy is “chronically pissed off,” said Dr Phil. He said that Sue really invites Andy to yell at her with her actions. Dr Phil doesn’t blame Sue for Andy’s wrath, but she isn’t doing anything about her life. He told her straight up that she is an alcoholic. She is satisfying her pain and depression with drinking. This is not dealing with mental illness and anxiety.
Dr Phil thinks that Andy has a moral compass, but this is a horribly dysfunctional relationship. They are finding every way they can to misbehave and are self medicating with alcohol. No wonder life sucks for these two right now.
Dr Phil’s Final Comments
This relationship is dysfunctional to say the least. Dr Phil said these two are moving in separate directions and need to come back together if they want to work it out. Marriage isn’t easy.
“You either contaminate the relationship or you contribute to it,” Dr Phil said. Right now, they are both contaminating it.
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