Dr. Phil: Classiest Husband On Earth
Dr. Phil continued talking to a man named Ben who is in the running for Classiest Husband on Earth. He’s cheated on his wife of six months with “eight to 15 women“, each more than once, he berates his wife Kelly on a daily basis for being a “beached whale” despite her gaining only a minimal amount of weight since they got married, he verbally abuses her and demeans her every day, and he doesn’t seem to care that his actions affect not only his wife, who he has emotionally and verbally abused, but also his four-year-old son, who is caught in the middle of their fighting.
Dr. Phil: Why Is He Cheating?
At some point, when you learn someone is cheating, you ask why. This a classic example of a question that you want to know the answer to, but you also don’t want to know the answer to. Like when you go into the doctor’s office for stomach pain and he asks you how your bowel movements are. He wants to know because the information may be helpful, but he also doesn’t want to know because why would anyone want to know how another person’s bowel movements are?
I’m not a doctor, so I can’t tell you for certain that’s how they feel. But I can tell you that when one person asks another person in a marriage, “Why did you cheat?” the answer never involves ice cream, rainbows, and pretty flowers. It always wounds and it’s always terrible. It’s never what you want to hear.
Dr. Phil: Dating Another Woman
Earlier in the program, Kelly told a story about answering the door one day, thinking it was someone selling girl scout cookies, and standing face to face with a woman Ben had been talking to online who came to the house to see him. Now, Ben reveals that not only were they talking online, but that in addition to sleeping with “eight to 15 women” multiple times, he also was seeing this woman. As in, dating her. It went beyond a physical thing into an emotional thing. I’m not sure if there was a single person in the audience who wanted to know Ben’s rationale for cheating or cared about how he felt regarding his marriage after what we heard from him and about him earlier in the show, but for the sake of hearing him out, here’s the answer to the question no one wants the answer to, why Ben cheated. In this quote, he’s describing the woman he was dating:
“She was giving me everything Kelly wasn’t giving me. It felt like somebody cared about me. The truth is, we had a relationship. I had feelings for her and she had feelings for me, too. What I also realized by being with this other woman is, oh my God, there’s other women out there that I’m attracted to physically and mentally, and I’m wasting away time with Kelly. There’s actually women out there that appreciate me for me and are smoking hot,” he said.
Dr. Phil: Does He Care About Their Son?
Kelly said that this whole thing made her sick and it shows how little respect he has for her and for their four-year-old son. Ben said that wasn’t true and that he had complete respect for their son. Then Dr. Phil took him to task.
“Are you turning away from your wife to someone else in this marriage and thereby putting your son’s base of operations in jeopardy so you can be with women that you think are ‘hot’, that tell you what you want to hear? Are you doing that?”
“Yes,” he said.
“That’s how much you respect your son. Right? Did I get that right? If I run a red light here, stop me,” he said.
“No, you got it,” Ben said.
Dr. Phil: What The Selfish Husband Wants His Wife To Do
In order to make sure his campaign for Classiest Husband On Earth was fully commenced, Ben gave Dr. Phil’s staff a list of things he wanted Kelly to do in order for him to stay in the marriage, because apparently the world revolves around him. Here’s some of what he wanted below. She must:
- Lose at least 50 pounds, but 100 would be better.
- Stop wearing sweatpants and be more concerned about appearance.
- Be more exciting in the bedroom and be intimate more often.
- Be more affectionate and caring.
- Adopt a more active lifestyle.
- Be happy to see Ben when he gets home. (“I guess after seeing these other women?” Dr. Phil added.)
- Make more delicious dinners and cook more often.
- Help Ben get up for work on time.
- Stop bossing Ben around.
Did I mention how classy I think this guy is?