Tonight Show: Angelo Scola & Powerful Yogurt
Jay Leno joked about papal front runner Angelo Scola and shared his Powerful yogurt review of a product marketed for men.
The Tonight Show: Hugo Chavez Funeral
In Venezuela, a funeral was held for recently deceased leader Hugo Chavez. Jay Leno joked that the US sent Dennis Rodman as our representative at the ceremony.
Just before his death, Jay said Chavez said he was happy to finally see Univision beat NBC. With Chavez out of the picture, Kim Jong-Un is the undisputed craziest leader the world.
Jay Leno: Obama Vs Bush
According to a new poll, President Obama is not thought to be better or more effective than President George W Bush at protecting civil liberties. The pollster gave up on additional questions for fear of drones.
Meanwhile, Obama has appointed the former Walmart Foundation president as budget director. At least she will bring experience in dealing with China.
Tonight Show: New York Soda Ban
A Supreme Court judge shot down Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s ban on sugary drinks. “Our government can’t come to an agreement on the sequestration, but when it comes to real issues like our soda, the rulings are swift and decisive,” Leno said.
As for sequestration, Bloomberg told New York residents not to panic about the lack of money in our budgets. But if we are so far in debt, Jay thought that meant we were already out of money.
The Tonight Show: England Gas Prices
Gas prices in California are approaching $5, and Dennis Rodman won’t even meet with oil company executives. However, in England, gas sells for about $10 per gallon. Maybe if it cost more here, we might drive less.
Now that Pope Benedict is retired, Jay wondered what he might be up to, and he found a video of an old man in a motorized scooter attempting to scale stairs.
Jay Leno: Pope Angelo Scola?
Angelo Scola is rumored to be one of the front runners in the search for a new pope. The soda marketing tie-ins are built right in: Pope-Scola.
Jay said that the Vatican is using cell phone jammers to prevent any leaks from inside the papal conclave. That sounds like great lengths to go to for something we will all know soon enough anyway.
Tonight Show: Sleep Deprivation
One study found that 1/3 of Americans are sleep deprived, while the other 2/3 snore. That makes sense. Have you lost any sleep thanks to the Daylight Saving time change?
Jay Leno: Powerful Yogurt Review
Scientists are starting to believe that conventional wisdom about dieting is wrong. Then there is a Greek yogurt called Powerful Yogurt, in a bid to appeal to male consumers.
Jay said he would not want to eat something that could be called man yogurt.