Tonight Show Kid Metaphors: Tiger Woods Infidelity & Rolling Stones


Tonight Show: Kid Metaphors

Kids say the darndest things. That has been the premise of multiple TV shows going back decades and decades, because you never know what they are going to say. For the Kid Metaphors segment, Brian Palermo was back on the Tonight Show.

Jay Leno: Kim Jong Un Kid Metaphors


Brian Palermo asked children about hot topics in the news and got real talk and advice from the mouths of babes. First up was Eli, age 10; he was asked about Kim Jong Un, through a metaphor about playground ownership.

Tonight Show Kid Metaphors: Tiger Woods Infidelity & Rolling Stones

The Tonight Show Kid Metaphors gave children relatable scenarios to assess the behavior of celebrities Tiger Woods, Justin Bieber, and the Rolling Stones. (s_bukley /

“The boy is setting off firecrackers to try to scare the kids on the other playground,” Palermo explained.


“That dude needs to chill out,” Eli advised, suggesting that the kid enjoy the playground he already has. His strategy was to befriend the person in question, or try to take over the playground with a group.

The Tonight Show: Rolling Stones Kid Metaphors

Levi was the next child, age 7, who was given a scenario about the Rolling Stones, through the metaphor of children’s games. “Now they’re all grown up…and they’re still playing the same baby games together,” Palermo said in the scenario.

The youngster’s advice was that they should be doing and saying old man stuff, like “Please don’t let me die.”

Another child, Hunter, indirectly suggested that the Rolling Stones would have big beards and diapers. He did not think that the old men should stop playing the games if they are still enjoying them.

Jay Leno: Tiger Woods Infidelity & Justin Bieber

Alan was next in the hot seat, and he was asked about the idea of sleepovers. This was actually about the Tiger Woods infidelity situation. Alan predicted that Eldrick, a.k.a Tiger Woods, would be a repeat offender since he has had trouble keeping his promises in the past.

What about Justin Bieber, who has been so out of control lately? This scenario compared Justin Bieber to a small, excited puppy that believes it is big and tough. A child’s advice here was to use a shock collar or choke collar.

Kids are smarter than we think, which is probably not much of a surprise to their parents.


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