The Tonight Show Headlines
Another Monday night meant it was time yet again for Headlines. What was in the news this week? How about a driver vs train and the effects of drugs on fish?
Jay Leno: Stolen Doughnut Truck
- Cops chase man driving stolen doughnut truck
- Legislation calls for one armed employee at each NM school
- Driver argues truck not too close to tracks; train proves him wrong
- Fish on drugs more likely to drop out of schools, study says
- Don’t forget to order a headstone for Mother’s Day 2013
- Forecast calls for warmer or cooler winter
- Library marks ‘Teen Reed Week’
Tonight Show: Iron-On Instructions
An iron-on patch from a box of Cocoa Puffs instructed the following: “Do not iron while wearing shirt.” It was a lot more fun when cereal companies put some effort into the prizes they gave away, instead of cutouts from the boxes.
Then there was the politician who made an admission in her campaign ad: “My accomplishments in the last eight years have been few if any.” At least she was honest.
The Tonight Show: Bad Ads
What mistakes are ad writers and designers making lately? Here are some more of the week’s most egregious submissions.
- Carolina Home Stay: Serving children to the elderly
- Bunk beds for sale: Many stains
- Hungary-Man Dinners
- Barrel Stove Kit: Barrel and stove pipe not included.
Jay Leno: Vacation Pictures
The Tonight Show asked viewers to send in their best and funniest vacation pictures, such as the speed limit sign warning of 9 3/4 miles per hour. Then there was the urinal with a sign warning, “do not drink.”
- Road unsafe when under water
- Wong St. Not A Detour
The Tonight Show: Copy Cats
In the Copy Cats segment, where animals mimic human behavior, Jay showed a video of a boy pushing his sister into the pool, followed by a dog pushing a cat into a bathtub.
Someone has also invented an Oreo cookie separator to remove the cream from the cookies. Leno said that this is a state invention for a country that used to produce great things.
Tonight Show: Overweight Pets
Another study has concluded that half the pets in the US are overweight, and pet owners should make a plan with their vet to help overweight pets. Jay said the answer is simple: feed them less.
Some scientists have trained rats to communicate using telepathy, which “could revolutionize how lawyers communicate.”