Tonight Show: German Longevity, Ikea Meatballs & Scooter Store Raid

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The Tonight Show: Scooter Store & Google Glass

The Tonight Show had a look at the Scooter Store raid, new research on longevity, and the Google Glass review. Jay’s guest list for the night included Naomi Campbell.

Tonight Show: German Longevity Results

German scientists have found that “72 is the new 30,” due to advances in longevity. “An 86-year-old today could live another 40 years,” he said, which is bad news for Hugh Hefner’s wife.

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“Who’s 72 and still thinks they’re 30…besides Jack Nicholson?” Jay wondered. Then he showed the clip of Jack hitting on Jennifer Lawrence backstage at the Oscars. In Leno’s doctored version, she knocks Jack out with her trophy.

Jay Leno: Ikea Meatballs

Tonight Show: German Longevity, Ikea Meatballs & Scooter Store Raid

The Tonight Show monologue reflected on the Scooter Store raid, a new German longevity study, horse meat in Ikea meatballs, and more hot stories.

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Ikea has stopped selling meatballs in Europe after horse meat was discovered in one store. But Jay said no one is eating the food because they can’t figure out how to put a dining table together.

Meanwhile, back in the US, Amarillo, Texas got 17 inches of snow this week. Jay joked that Mexican immigrants thought they had ended up in Canada.

The Tonight Show: Sequestration Border Security

Sequestration could affect border security, according to the Homeland Security secretary. What do you think of all the sequester talk lately? “Doesn’t that sound like some kind of side effect from a bad medicine?” Leno wondered.

New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez is in trouble again, because an escort has revealed that she had an ongoing financial relationship with him. Why do you think so many politicians get caught with their pants down?

Tonight Show: Google Glass Review

Pope Benedict is getting ready to move out of the Vatican at the end of the week. Jay showed video of his bulletproof cone on top of a U-Haul truck. “God told him to quit. How come God never tells the Kardashians to quit, or maybe Donald Trump?” he wondered.

The new Google Glass contain a small camera with a micro display that allows the wearer to see real time information about the weather, appointments, emails and other information. But they could take some getting used to, and Jay showed clips of people running into things to illustrate the dangers of not watching where you are going.

Jay Leno: 101-Year-Old Runner

A 101-year-old runner is giving up running and retiring from the sport. Jay called him a quitter.

Scientists have reportedly uncovered a chemical protein that allows women to talk more than men. Jay suspected that men have a similar protein that allows them to pretend to listen.

The Tonight Show: Match.com Safety Guide

An Ohio businessman beat a tenant with a belt because the adult tenant was late paying his rent. Leno said you have to pay attention to your lease application and its fine print.

Teeth were chosen as the most important feature in a mate, according to a Match.com survey. However, that is not a factor on a meth dating website, he joked.

Match also offers an online safety guide, which suggests avoiding wearing articles of clothing that could become weapons to strangle you.

Tonight Show: Scooter Store Raid

The Scooter Store, whom you may have seen on countless infomercials, was recently in trouble with the government. There was a Scooter Store raid at its Texas headquarters, on suspected Medicare fraud. They showed video of a man riding a scooter in an attempt to escape the police.

Lindsay Lohan is behind almost $60,000 in taxes owed to the state of California. Her parents are reportedly proud of her for graduating to white collar crime.

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