Tonight Show: Avoiding Drones, NBC Ratings & Hair Tutorial Gone Wrong

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Tonight Show: Curling Iron YouTube

The Tonight Show featured actor Russell Crowe, but first Jay had to talk about NBC ratings woes, avoiding drones, Ang Lee at the Oscars, and a curling iron disaster.

Jay Leno: Ang Lee Oscars

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The Oscars are finally over for the year, and the winner for best picture, Argo, was announced by First Lady Michelle Obama from the White House.

Life of Pi won four Oscars, and Jay said “it’s about a young boy trapped at sea on a small boat with a man-eating tiger,” which he thought was still better than cruising with Carnival. Ang Lee thanked everyone in his acceptance speech for best director, including the tiger.

The Tonight Show: Jennifer Lawrence Stunt

Tonight Show: Avoiding Drones, NBC Ratings & Hair Tutorial Gone Wrong

Jay Leno’s monologue included analysis of NBC’s sinking ratings, advice from al Qaeda on avoiding drones, and a YouTube hair tutorial gone wrong. (Cedric Weber / Shutterstock.com)

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Jennifer Lawrence “won best actress and worst stunt woman,” according to Jay Leno, but I thought she recovered very well. He wondered why Lindsay Lohan’s career was omitted from the In Memoriam segment.

The governors ball after party featured horse meat hors d’oeuvres, to make British actors feel more at home. This horse meat thing really seems to be getting out of control.

Tonight Show: NBC Ratings

NBC has found itself in fifth place in the ratings, falling behind even Spanish-language channel Univision. “We’re numero cinco!” Jay and his audience chanted.

He said that NBC’s ratings are in such a free fall that he saw “the NBC peacock being carted off to a Church’s Fried Chicken.”

Jay Leno: Avoiding Drones

As a public service, Jay shared a news report about an Al Qaeda list of tricks for avoiding drone strikes.

  • Use reflective glass
  • Hide under trees
  • Stay out of any country that ends in “stan”
  • Lose that bumper sticker on your car that says “My child is a Taliban honor student”
  • Right before a drone blows you up, blow yourself up
  • Take down the big sign reading “137 days without a drone strike”

The Tonight Show: Starbucks Guns

The horse meat scandal is giving new meaning to the word “trifecta” in England. In Denmark, even pizzas have been found to contain horse meat.

Starbucks is finding itself facing controversy by announcing that its stores will comply with local gun policies. I’m not sure how that is controversial, but Jay pointed out that Starbucks already figured out “you don’t need a gun to rob people.”

Tonight Show: YouTube Hair Tutorial Gone Wrong

Washington state police have conducted a two-month investigation and arrested two employees of a coffee stand for wearing revealing clothing and performing for customers. Jay wondered what took them so long to get to the bottom of what was going on.

YouTube can be a great source of informational and how-to videos. That is where Leno found a video about how to use a curling iron. However, she got confused in the process when her hair was actually burned off while wrapped around the iron.

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