The Tonight Show: Bank Robbery
On the Tonight Show, Jay Leno shared the results of the March Madness basketball tournament, a Venezuelan election curse, and a clever spaghetti sauce bank robbery.
Tonight Show: Louisville Cardinals March Madness
Jay Leno complained about the high winds lately in California. If that counts as severe weather, maybe sunny California is a fair-weather paradise after all.
The Final Four tournament is over, and the Louisville Cardinals won the final game, 82-76. It has been a great week for the coach, and The Tonight Show team shared a joke segment about all wonderful things that have happened to him.
Jay Leno: Dwight Howard Free Throws
Dwight Howard has missed more free throws in a single year than Steve Nash missed in 17 years. What do you think about this year’s basketball season?
Lance Armstrong has been blocked from competing in swimming events by the International Swimming Federation.
The Tonight Show: Romance Pants Review
A new product called Romance Pants caught Jay’s eye. He explained that these pants dim the lights when you unzip the zipper. But there are times when that might not be so handy, like when you are in the bathroom.
Kentucky Fried Chicken is adding boneless chicken to its menu. In honor of Congress, Leno said it should be named Spineless Chicken.
The Obama administration is pushing banks to give loans to people with weak credit, for fear that many people are being left behind in the housing recovery. Isn’t that what started a mess in the first place?
Tonight Show: Venezuela Election Curse
In 1867, Russia sold Alaska to the United States, for a price of two cents per acre. I wonder what the inflation value would be on that now.
The president of Venezuela said he will put a curse on those who will not vote for him, an idea that came too late to help Mitt Romney. “Here in America, we’re cursed no matter who we vote for,” Leno said.
Jay Leno: Spaghetti Sauce Bank Robbery
Bears have been spotted roaming the streets in Pasadena, California. In doctored news footage, The Tonight Show demonstrated a bear marking a wall with graffiti.
Meanwhile in Detroit, a woman used two jars of spaghetti sauce to rob a bank, claiming this was a bomb. Jay said that his prime suspect was Martha Stewart–but what would she be doing in Detroit?
Tonight Show: Missing Cat & Pets Medical Marijuana
A cat who went missing 13 years ago in Las Vegas has been found and reunited with its owners, who have since moved to San Diego. Animals do seem to have a keen sense of direction, but 13 years is a long time.
Some veterinarians are now recommending medical marijuana for pets. Jay said he would be concerned about being in the house alone with a big hungry dog. He showed a mockup of Kibbles and Spliffs as a hypothetical future product.
The Tonight Show: California Last Call Time
There is talk of extending last call at bars in California from 2 a.m. to 4 a.m. What is the last call time where you live? Jay seemed to think that a later time would just make things worse at the bar, as people make worse decisions.
In a viral video, a young man intentionally shocked his father repeatedly while they were working on a car battery problem.