The Tonight Show: Senate Barber & Cyprus Savings
Jay Leno’s monologue included a look at the Senate barbershop, David Hasselhoff in Berlin, and the danger facing savings accounts in Cyprus.
Tonight Show: Lindsay Lohan Sentencing
Are you observing the Christian Lenten season this time of year, or are you celebrating Spring Break? Jay Leno’s audience was a mix of both.
Lindsay Lohan is heading back to rehab for a 90-day sentence. She told her lawyer to “shut the hell up” in the courtroom.
It is believed that she took the plea bargain because alcohol was found on the scene of her accident, but Leno did not buy that she would leave any behind.
Jay Leno: Upside Down Vision
This week in 1979, the US House of Representatives began televising its daily sessions. Now we have “cameras in other high crime areas as well,” Leno joked.
A Serbian woman has a brain condition that makes her see everything upside down. Jay thought she should get a job as a White House economic advisor. “She thinks NBC is at the top of the ratings,” he said, ribbing his bosses once again.
The Tonight Show: Senate Barbershop
President Obama recently visited an Illinois energy research facility. In a doctored video clip, the workers there played a practical joke on the president.
Meanwhile, the Senate is fighting to keep its Senate barbershop open, despite the fact that it loses hundreds of thousands annually. I’d say that should have been first in line on the sequestration cuts.
Tonight Show: Cyprus Savings Accounts
The island of Cyprus is considering taxing all the savings accounts in its country. Here’s hoping the US doesn’t get any ideas from this practice.
The US Department of Agriculture wants to purchase hundreds of thousands of sugar in a complex scheme to help farmers pay back government loans.
Jay Leno: Republican Image Problem
Elsewhere, in Iran, that country claims it has a destroyer targeting our naval fleet. Do you think that they are really a military threat?
The Republican Party’s recent study critiques the party’s image problems. The conclusions of the study are that the leadership is out of touch, old, and white. Just look at Mitch McConnell and John McCain.
The Tonight Show: Conservative Thought & Philosophy
The University of Colorado in Boulder is adding a conservative thought and philosophy professor to its faculty. What do you think about this idea?
The History Channel miniseries The Bible is under fire because the actor playing Satan bears a resemblance to President Obama. Jay joked that Dick Cheney was passed over for the role.
Tonight Show: David Hasselhoff Berlin Wall
David Hasselhoff is in Germany amid protests to tear down the historic Berlin Wall. The Tonight Show doctored video footage to show that David’s singing was used to disperse a crowd of protesters.
A tabloid reports that Angelina Jolie was out partying with a handsome man while her husband, Brad Pitt was out of the country. Do you think Brad has anything to worry about?
Jay Leno: Red Bull Wingsuit Stunt
Red Bull wingsuit stuntmen were recently observed flying between two skyscrapers in Brazil. Red Bull always seems to be up to something outrageous.
A Greyhound bus was evacuated due to a roach infestation, and the company is investigating, but Jay concluded that the cause was it being a bus.