The Tonight Show: Kim Jong-Un & Carnival Triumph
Jay Leno’s monologue highlighted a potential threat of war with North Korea, the latest misadventures of the Carnival Triumph, and the curse of being the oldest US citizen.
Tonight Show: North Korea War?
Tensions are rising in the North Korea situation with Kim Jong-Un. Jay Leno explained that a Navy warship has moved off the coast. He said if we really want to scare them, we need to send a Carnival cruise ship.
Kim Jong-Un is wishy-washy about when his war on America might start. Jay Leno compared the size of his head to that of Korean dictator Jay Leno and determined that Leno had the larger head.
Do you believe that North Korean missiles could reach Los Angeles?
Jay Leno: Carnival Triumph & High School ADHD
The Tonight Show saga has been getting a lot of press. Jay Leno told his audience the real reason he is leaving. He said that a secret video of him in a writers meeting was the real reason he is being fired. He then showed a backstage parody of the Rutgers basketball coach.
The Carnival Triumph broke free from shore and went adrift in the Gulf of Mexico, so watch out.
According to a new CDC report, 20% of high school students have ADHD. Leno suspected it would be hard to rally students to the cause. He said his generation was just told to “smarten up.”
The Tonight Show: Oldest Living US Citizen
A 113-year-old Florida woman, who was briefly the oldest living US citizen, passed away just months after getting the title. Who keeps track of that, and what’s the point? How long could you possibly hold the title?
Samoa Air is now charging fares based on passenger weight, in addition to the weight of your luggage. Leno said that Chris Christie won’t be flying Samoa anytime soon.
Tonight Show: NBC Hannibal Review
Jay Leno riffed on the new NBC drama Hannibal, based on the story of Hannibal Lecter. Would you watch a prequel to The Silence of the Lambs?
Parents are now calling for a ban on ice cream trucks, because they are unhealthy. As a compromise, Jay said the trucks should not stop, and kids can run after them to get ice cream.
Freddie Mercury reportedly once took Princess Di to a gay bar in drag as a man. Can you imagine what that night out must have been like?
Jay Leno: Heidi Klum Saves Son
Heidi Klum saved her seven-year-old son from drowning in a riptide. Leno wondered why the kid is not a better swimmer, since he is “half Seal.”
Friday on Today, Jay joked that Matt Lauer and Al Roker have found another stunt to try: twerking. That sounds awful, and the morning team should never sink to such depths. Enough with the memes!