Tonight Show: Google Sneakers & Donald Trump
Jay Leno: Conclave Harlem Shake
The papal conclave is underway, and white smoke signifies the announcement of a new pope. Black smoke means there is no decision yet, and “if there’s grey smoke, that means they’re just burning evidence,” Leno joked.
This time around, the winner of the vote for pope will be announced by First Lady Michelle Obama, he joked, wondering why no one talks about the Jewish vote in regards to the pope.
Then there is new evidence that the pope did not retire: “he was forced out by NBC.” The cardinals took the oath in the Sistine Chapel earlier, but Jay’s video of the occasion involved the Harlem Shake.
The Tonight Show: White House Tours
On Meet The Press recently, former Florida governor predicted that “history will be kind to my brother,” former president George W Bush. Leno said that history may be the only subject that will be kind to the man.
Meanwhile, Donald Trump has volunteered to fund White House tours, which have been suspended during the sequester. Jay worried that Omarosa and Gary Busey would be leading the tours, however, which is not good for anyone.
Tonight Show: Bloomberg Soda Regulations
Mayor Michael Bloomberg told everyone not to worry about America running out of money. When China is strapped for cash, we will know we are in trouble.
Jay also mentioned Bloomberg’s proposed soda regulations, which were shut down in court. He said the judge relied on testimony from expert witness Dr Pepper.
Jay Leno: McDonald’s Fruit & Walnut Salad
McDonald’s is ditching the fruit and walnut salad from its menu, which should not be a problem for most of its customers.
A Connecticut employee at a Dunkin Donuts foiled a robbery by throwing hot coffee on an assailant who attempted to climb in the store’s drive thru window. That is thinking on your feet.
The Tonight Show: Google Sneakers Review
The new Google talking sneakers are supposed to encourage you to get up and walk around. Leno said that if the shoes could actually kick you until you walked, they might actually be effective.
A Florida company gives its staff free beer on Beer Cart Fridays each week. But Jay said that could only lead to car crashes, hangovers, and lawsuits. What do you think about having a happy hour at work to end the week?
Tonight Show: The Bible Miniseries Miracles
History Channel’s miniseries The Bible is under scrutiny for real life miracles on the set, according to reliable news source Inside Edition. In Jay’s video, the miracles included a Hollywood producer with an age-appropriate wife. Do you really need to doctor videos from Inside Edition? They are pretty ridiculous on their own.