Today Show: Parenting Partnerships, Relationships Without Love
Although they may share a biological son together, David Arrick and Heidi Sadowsky do not share much else. The two have been friends for 20 years and they both wanted a child but were not finding the type of partners they wanted to raise children with. So they turned to each other. The two agreed on a parenting partnership where they would have a child of their own but never develop a romantic relationship with each other.
Sadowsky said she explored the idea of an anonymous donor but realized she wanted a partner to raise her child with. Three months after turning to Arrick, she was pregnant.
Although the Center for Marriage and Families said parenting partnerships are at best creating a good divorce situation, Arrick and Sadowsky both say they have their child’s interests at heart at all the time.
“We feed him, we clothe him, we give him shelter,” said Arrick. “It isn’t a big deal.”
Today Show: Benefits and Struggles of Co-Parenting Children
Both Arrick and Sadowsky say their son Nate is doing great. They work together to give their son everything they can, even though they live apart. Arrick said it is imperative the two stay in touch and communicate with each other to get what is best for their child. Although Arrick only has Nate one day per week he said they are working towards a more 50/50 parenting style.
Arrick and Sadowsky said they took care of many of custody issues, finances and legal situations than can arise throughout a co-parenting relationship but they also know there are going to be surprises, such as a possible divorce or when the child asks why his parents aren’t married. But neither are worried. Arrick said Nate’s best interests are also his first priority and Sadowsky said if the child only knows one style of parenting, then they think it is normal and they only want to be loved and supported.
Today Show: Family by Design Parenting Partnership Matches
Darren Spedale founded Family by Design, a website that actually matches up people for parenting partnerships similar to the style of Arrick and Sadowsky’s. He said his website helps educate people who are considering the process, helps connect them with the person they would be best matched with and lets people considering this style of parenting talk with others who have been doing it for years.
Although many people are questioning how parenting partnerships can work, Spedale said traditional parenting has not always been the best way to raise a family for everyone. Although Spedale said he comes from a traditional family, he said we all know a person in their 30s who hasn’t met the right person yet would make a great mother. He is there to help those people find someone they can raise a family with.
Today Show: How To Find A Co-Parent
It may seem irresponsible to have a website essentially setting up families but Spedale said it takes three things to make the relationship work and he works with all his clients to make sure they meet the criteria, no matter how long it can take:
- There must be a strong bond between the two people. It may take time to cultivate the relationship or it may be a couple who has known each other for a long time.
- Taking time to understand how the parenting will work.
- Learning to adapt and change the relationship after the child is born.
Arrick also added people should understand fully what they are committing too because the stakes can be very high when a child is involved.