Kathie Lee & Hoda: Challenges Of An Empty Nest
Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb discussed how to survive the challenges of an empty nest after your children have all left home, as Kathie Lee prepares for Cassidy to leave home this fall. Three Moms: Carin Rubenstein, psychologist and author of Beyond the Mommy Years, Karin Kasdin, Huffington Post Blogger, and Christine Mellor, author of Fun Without Dick and Jane, shared wisdom and advice for empty nesters to make that transition better.
Empty Nesters: Grief Stage
Carin Rubenstein said it happened a few years ago for her and she was so freaked out about it. You walk past their room and nobody is in that room and she couldn’t put away their placemat on the table for a while. During her research for her book, Carin found out that’s the grief stage. She said you get over that grief stage and her’s lasted a couple of months. You are going to have a longer relationship with your kid as an adult than you did as a child.
Empty Nesters: Helping You Get Past The Grief
Karin Kasdin said to help get past the grief Kathie Lee will be experiencing, she told Hoda to take Kathie Lee by the shoulders, ask her to visualize her looking into Cassidy’s eyes and then ask her, “Is there anything on this Earth, temporal or physical, that could separate her from her daughter?” Her answer will be no. You know that, she will be with you forever. After a week goes by and she still can’t get over it, slap her in the face and say, “Snap out of it!”
Christine Mellor said there are a lot of empty nest support groups. She said she understands there is grieving, but maybe it’s too much and too much is being focused on the grieving and the loss. It’s all this negative. Carin Rubenstein said the grief turns quickly turns to relieve and then to joy.
Empty Nesters: Marriage After Children Leave The Home
Carin Rubenstein said half of marriages get better because suddenly you have time for yourselves. Karin Kasdin said that you rediscover what made you fall in love with your spouse to begin with. Christine Mellor said or you discover you have nothing in common. Like, who is this guy who 18 years ago we decided to have kids and it’s all we’ve talked about since then.
Empty Nesters: Part-Time Mothers
Carin Rubenstein said you’re always going to be a mother, just not an intense, full-time mother. You’re a part-time mother and that’s a good thing. Karin Kasdin said there is nothing more rewarding than watching your child and what you have taught them and seeing them teach that to their children. Watching your child parent is a pleasure beyond words.
Empty Nesters: Quick Advice
Christine Mellor said look at this that you’ve done a great job and to pat yourself on the back for the success and be joyful for them because they’ll be joyful.
Karin Kasdin said when you drop off your last child at college, make sure your sunglasses are as big as bread and butter plates.
Carin Rubenstein said the rest of your life is about to start. Now that we live longer, we have a lot more chapters of life ahead of us.