The Drs: Couples Counseling + Make Relationship Work Or Move On

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The Doctors: Couple Considering Split

Andria and Demesio seemed to be a part of a modern day “Brady Brunch” after the parents, each with two kids, met and fell in love. Andria and Demesio moved in together but now, three years later, they seem to be on the verge of breaking up. They visited relationship expert Chris Donaghue to see if their relationship could be saved.

Andria explained that Demesio will sometimes stay out until 7:00 in the morning, and Demesio admitted that they had a bit of a “fall-out” over the weekend.

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Andria shared with Chris that she packed up some of Demesio’s things because he was staying out for so long. She questioned where he had been or who he was with. Demesio stated that he was dealing with a woman who has had trust issues since the very beginning, and he didn’t have a solution. At the same time, Andria said she would take full responsibility for her actions, knowing she had been combative and argumentative. Demesio went as far as to say that Andria had been verbally abusive and even “put her hands on” him.

The Drs: Couples Counseling + Make Relationship Work Or Move On

Relationship expert Chris Donaghue spoke with a couple on the verge of a breakup, to help them decide whether to fight for each other or finally move on. (jdhancock / Flickr)

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Andria responded that she’s trying to be better and make a change, but Demesio wasn’t helping the situation by not being there. Chris made a point to say that there’s a difference between stepping away while saying “I’m still with you” and completely disappearing.

The Doctors: Instances Of Abuse Harming Relationship

Andria was brought to tears expressing her frustration, saying the last time she tried to talk to Demesio about her feelings, he turned on the TV and seemingly ignored her. Demesio argued that he was already watching TV when she got home. Chris recognized that the couple seemed to be pretty bad at conflict resolution. When he asked them about affection and intimacy, Andria stated that Demesio won’t even kiss her and even turns away from her.

Demesio argued that he wasn’t as affectionate toward Andria because of the abuse. Chris told Andria that it’s actually a healthy sign if someone moves away from abuse.

Andria also brought up the time that she found out she was pregnant and then later miscarried. She argued that Demesio wasn’t even excited about the pregnancy, and he explained that he couldn’t fathom bringing a child into a relationship that was as rocky as theirs. Andria expressed hurt, saying that he didn’t care how she felt. Demesio told Andria that he didn’t want to see her cry, but it takes two people to make a relationship work.

At the same time, Andria acknowledged that abuse would be a relationship-breaker for her, yet she admitted to abusing Demesio both verbally and emotionally. Chris flat-out told Demesio that if he had been working with Demesio when the abuse occurred, he would have told him to get out.

The Doctors: Relationship Counseling

Chris Donaghue then sat down with Dr Travis Stork and explained that relationships are about love and compassion. That should be the centerpiece and the goal, and you can’t talk about a long-term commitment until you have that.

Chris urged Andria and Demesio to make a decision about their relationship. Demesio had to decide whether it was time to let Andria go and move on. Demesio explained that once someone lays their hands on you, you have to think about what’s best for you and your kids. Andria was hurt, but said she understood, knowing that she can’t take back what she did. Chris encouraged Andria to learn from her mistakes so she didn’t make the same ones in her next relationship.

Andria and Demesio then joined the show and explained that they’re in a bit of a difficult situation because they’re still living together. Demesio explained that he was waiting on approval to move into his own place, which he just got on his way to the show. He stated that he would be moving out of Andria’s home the next day. They both agreed to do their best regarding their children, knowing the four of them have gotten close in the past three years.

Chris wanted everyone to know that if you can handle conflict in a healthy way, it’s a sign of a good relationship. Otherwise, serious issues could occur down the road. Do you think Andria and Demesio could have made it work or were they right to part ways?

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