Kelly & Michael: General Petraeus Scandal
Every New York headline this morning was centered on General Petraeus, who has resigned from his position amidst a scandal. Neither Kelly nor Michael care for political scandals, but it’s become pretty hard to avoid the topic making waves across the country.
Michael believes that, since the secret of General Petraeus’ infidelity is out of the bag, the issue is now between him and his family. So why fire the best man for the job? Kelly said that it’s more a matter of national security, because secrets can be used for blackmail. No matter what else breaks in this shocking scandal, Kelly and Michael will keep us posted.
What General Petraeus needed was the hormone oxytocin; it’s been proven to keep men away from other women they find attractive, thereby protecting monogamous relationships. Kelly called it a “drug induced restraining order.”
Kelly & Michael: John McAfee Murder Allegations
In more public scandal news, software anti-virus guru John McAfee is now on the lam from the police. Allegedly, McAfee murdered his neighbor, fled the scene, and is now claiming that the police are trying to kill him. Shockingly, this all started because the neighbor complained about McAfee’s dog barking. Crazy! I wonder how this bizarre story will end.
Kelly & Michael: Romney/Ryan Face Tattoo
It’s frustrating when your candidate loses the election, and you’ve still got that bumper sticker stuck to your car. But what if that bumper sticker was on your face? A man named Eric Hartsburg spent $15,000 on a Romney/Ryan logo tattoo for the side of his face. Kelly suggested that maybe he can have it turned into something else, or have it removed…but really, is that not the most stupid thing you’ve ever heard?
Kelly & Michael: Hidden Snakes in Bangkok
Kelly and Michael are both terrified of snakes, but they always seem to have a new story about them! This time, Kelly revealed that a truck in Bangkok was discovered to have 600 deadly cobras inside, all hidden in plastic containers. She couldn’t imagine having to open those containers to see what’s inside.
However, Kelly said that when snakes come onto the show with animal handlers, she isn’t that scared. Michael, on the other hand, just “doesn’t mess with snakes”–ever!
Sexiest Man Alive: Channing Tatum
Finally, it was time for the big reveal of People Magazine’s annual Sexiest Man Alive. This year’s hunk is none other than Channing Tatum! I think he’s a great choice, considering all of the recent success of Magic Mike. What do you think of this year’s pick?
Of course, Channing isn’t the only sexy man around; Michael Strahan isn’t too shabby, either! He’s featured with a photo inside of the issue as well. It was a Magic Mike themed shoot, at a real strip club, that was both a bit uncomfortable and fun. Maybe next year, he’ll make the cover! See Michael’s picture below.