Late Show with David Letterman: Top 10 Signs You’d Make A Bad Pope


Late Show: Asteroid Attack & Bad Pope Top 10

David Letterman featured a dramatization of what might happen if an asteroid hits the Earth later this week, as well as the top 10 signs you’d make a bad pope.

David Letterman: 150-Foot Asteroid

Late Show with David Letterman: Top 10 Signs You'd Make A Bad Pope

From The Late Show with David Letterman, check out Dave’s list of the top 10 signs you’d make a bad pope and learn of a simulated asteroid attack. (Jeffrey Bruno /


As Dave mentioned, a 150-foot asteroid is expected to pass by the Earth on Friday, February 15 2013. It is supposed to miss the planet by a large margin, but it has been the subject of much debate at the Late Show offices.

David Letterman said he got on Skype with reps from the Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) to dramatize what might happen when the asteroid passes by the Earth later in the week.

Late Show: Asteroid Attack Dramatization

Using old time radio sound effects and dim lights, David Letterman patiently waited for the asteroid during a dramatization of the asteroid’s appearance. Suddenly, the sound of a laser beam accompanied a bit of debris passing behind Dave in the New York City skyline behind him.


David Letterman Top 10: Sink Plugs

The Top 10 list was sponsored by sink plugs, which are endorsed by Late Show announcer Alan Kalter and can also be used for bathtubs.

Late Show Top 10: Signs You’d Make a Bad Pope

The pope’s resignation has made worldwide headlines as the first papal abdication in 600 years. “I always thought the gig was for life, kind of like this one,” Dave said of his hosting position.

Here are his Top Ten signs you’d make a bad pope.

  • 10. Typically spend Sundays disabled by a hangover
  • 9. Religion isn’t really your thing
  • 8. You pronounce the “p” in Psalms
  • 7. Last time God spoke to you, he told you to stay out of church
  • 6. Know nothing about Vatican; know a lot about Vicodin
  • 5. You think “Papal” is an online payment website
  • 4. Only want the job as an excuse to avoid relations with your wife
  • 3. In times of trouble, ask yourself, “What would Keith Richards do?”
  • 2. Your most recent prayer: “Dear God, don’t let it be herpes”
  • 1. Even Jesus thinks you’re a stooge



  1. tess conroy says

    I will never watch Letterman again,and the station has shown extremely poor judement in airing this offensive show. Do you need to fill space that badly?

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