Late Show: Top 10 Things You Don’t Want To Hear From Your Sneakers

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David Letterman: Pope Benedict & Joy Behar

Before counting down the Top 10 Things You Don’t Want To Hear From Your Sneakers, Dave shared his thoughts on recent events affecting Pope Benedict, Hugo Chavez, and Joy Behar.

Late Show: Pope Benedict & Hugo Chavez

Late Show: Top 10 Things You Don’t Want To Hear From Your Sneakers

On the Late Show, David Letterman counted off the Top 10 Things You Don’t Want To Hear From Your Sneakers, in response to Google’s new computerized shoes.

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Dave referred to himself as introspective, which is probably apt. He had something he wanted to share with his loyal audience. He whipped out his sketch pad to tell a story about Pope Benedict.

Letterman suspects that he is soon headed for the ballroom on a new season of Dancing With The Stars. Meanwhile, is it a coincidence that Hugo Chavez has dropped dead?

Finally, Joy Behar has announced her intention to step down as a co-host of The View. Dave said these decisions formed the points of a triangle.

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David Letterman: Joy Behar & Hugo Chavez

“If somebody out there watching tonight can prove to me, indisputably, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that these three things are not related, I will give you $100,” Dave offered.

Unfortunately, now I can’t stop thinking about how they may be related. Good thing it is time for another distraction.

Late Show: David Letterman Patdown

A fan from the audience took a moment to pat down David Letterman. Dave assumed that he was with the mayor’s office, since Michael Bloomberg was a guest.

“I don’t know who he is, but it’s still not a bad idea,” Dave said.

David Letterman: Top 10 Things You Don’t Want To Hear From Your Sneakers

Google can’t stop inventing things, and their latest experiment is a pair of sneakers that contain a computer and a speaker. That means your shoes can talk to you.

Dave said that talking shoes are a great example of why so many people hate America. Instead of feeding the hungry, we invent talking shoes.

  • 10. Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right…
  • 9. You call this jogging?
  • 8. Talking to your shoes–nice life you’ve carved out for yourself.
  • 7. Can you introduce me to your sister’s pumps?
  • 6. I’d like to talk with you about a reverse mortgage.
  • 5. Surely you see the irony of a lazy slob wearing athletic shoes.
  • 4. I found your glasses.
  • 3. You’re no Dr. Scholl.
  • 2. Who’s stupid enough to buy talking shoes?
  • 1. You’re crushing me, fat ass.

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