David Letterman: Space Monkey Top 10
Dave’s guests on the Late Show included David Morrissey. But first, the night’s top 10 list counted down questions to ask before sending your monkey into space.
Late Show: NFL Manning Brothers
Letterman said that he could not even pretend to be excited about the Super Bowl. He thought it was not worth betting on. His favorite teams included the Indianapolis Colts, the Denver Broncos, and the New York Giants, each of them teams with a Manning on the roster.
David Letterman: United States Postal Service
Dave recalled that when he was a child, the mail carrier used to come twice each day. Now, things are increasingly dire for the United States Postal Service. He showed off a new $1 trillion stamp. I bet some really rich person would buy an expensive stamp just to say they had done so.
Late Show: Tony Mendez Noticiais Actuales
Cue card boy Tony Mendez had some Spanish-language news headlines for the Late Show audience. He previewed the 2013 Super Bowl and its Destiny’s Child reunion: “bootylicious.”
Then he did a quick silent weather report and even a soap opera update. That is a great condensed version of the news, and I like it.
David Letterman: Top 10 Questions To Ask Before Sending Your Monkey Into Space
Iran has claimed that they recently sent a money into outer space. Dave said that it is unclear whether they actually did this, but they are at least taking credit for it, adding that “the monkey returned intact.”
That inspired the night’s Top 10 list, questions to ask before sending your monkey into space.
- 10. Is this one of those scams where they steal your monkey?
- 9. Will my monkey know how to rehydrate a banana?
- 8. Will he be better off in space than living with the kind of person who owns a monkey?
- 7. How is it that my monkey’s career is more impressive than mine?
- 6. Would it be easier to send a guy in a monkey suit?
- 5. What’s the catch?
- 4. Will he miss Daddy?
- 3. Has the space capsule been monkey-proofed?
- 2. While he’s away, can I get a loaner monkey?
- 1. Is it one-way or round-trip?