Late Show: Top 10 New Carnival Cruise Ship Names & Letterman’s Dog


David Letterman: Carnival Names

After sharing news from Alex Trebek, Dave shared the night’s Top 10 list of New Carnival Cruise Ship Names. He also shared the trouble that his dog got into recently.

Late Show: David Letterman’s Dog

Since bandleader Paul Shaffer has been through both experiences, Letterman asked whether pets or children are worse. Shaffer said that pets are worse, because they take over the entire house.


Late Show: Top 10 New Carnival Cruise Ship Names & Letterman's Dog

The Late Show presented suggestions for the Top 10 New Carnival Cruise Ship Names, and David Letterman related a story about his active hunting dog. (Ruth Peterkin /

To tease Paul’s brain, Dave made a list and asked Shaffer to come up with the category in question. Play along and see if you can figure it out.

  • Vole
  • Skunk
  • Honey Badger
  • Canada Goose

The category was things that David Letterman’s dog has hunted and brought into the family home. Also on the list were chickens, a deer, and now a groundhog.


David Letterman: Dog Vs Groundhog

The groundhog was a recent addition to the list. Dave came upon his dog fighting a groundhog on his property. He did not know how to go about intervening, but he had trouble getting his dog to leave the gravely wounded groundhog alone.

“It’s not likely that he will be rehabilitated with a broken neck,” Letterman noted. Eventually, the groundhog succumbed to his injuries. What a charming story to tell people as they attempt to fall asleep.

Letterman said that his dog had to get a rabies booster and penicillin at the vet. The nurse instructed him to “wash the groundhog saliva off of him.”

Late Show: Carnival Cruise Lines

Carnival Cruise Lines have been seeing a spate of bad PR in recent weeks. The Carnival Triumph was stranded out at sea for eight days with no power. Then the ship Elation was plagued with “steering problems.”

The Carnival Legend also had “propulsion problems,” while the Carnival Dream had bad generators, shutting down toilets and elevators.

“Here in New York City, they’re often one and the same,” Letterman quipped of toilets and elevators.

David Letterman: New Carnival Cruise Ship Names

All this bad press inspired the night’s Top 10 New Carnival Cruise Ship Names.

10. Carnival Coli
9. Dyspeptic Princess
8. Poseidon’s Outhouse
7. Hepitanic
6. S.S. S.O.S.
5. Quarantina
4. HMC Litigation
3. Costco Concordia
2. Peptotania
1. Q.E. Ewwwww

Have you ever been on a cruise? If you like playing the odds, you can probably get a great deal on Carnival in light of all their recent troubles.


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