David Letterman: Top 10 Signs You Have An Imaginary Girlfriend

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Late Show: Manti Te’O & Super Bowl

David Letterman shared his less-than-infectious excitement about Super Bowl 47, as well as a Top 10 list about Notre Dame’s Manti Te’O, the top 10 signs you have an imaginary girlfriend.

David Letterman: Super Bowl 47

David Letterman: Top 10 Signs You Have An Imaginary Girlfriend

Though not a comprehensive list, as a public service, David Letterman shared the Top 10 Signs You Have An Imaginary Girlfriend, in honor of Manti Te’O.

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In advance of Super Bowl 47, Dave claimed that CBS asked him to help promote the big game. He had some stagehands bring out a bright green screen to set up behind his desk. On it, a football stadium was projected.

Dave put on his best announcer voice in what started out as an earnest promo for the Super Bowl. The game, which occurred on February 3, unleashed jokes about the “Pigskin Network” and “Super Bowl Funday.”

Late Show: Notre Dame Manti Te’O Hoax

Notre Dame’s college football team was ranked #1 until they were unseated handily by Alabama. However, Manti Te’O is getting more attention off the field for his fake girlfriend. I guess they had to rerun this show now, because no one will remember it come summer.

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When his fake girlfriend pretended to die, he got the game ball. But then she came back to life, “and now Lance Armstrong looks like a Girl Scout compared to this guy.”

Will Manti Te’O still be drafted by the NFL?

David Letterman: Top 10 Signs You Have An Imaginary Girlfriend

To help Manti and future potential victims avoid this situation, the Late Show compiled a list of the Top 10 Signs You Have An Imaginary Girlfriend.

  • 10. You describe her to friends as “a nondescript female with eyes and hair.”
  • 9. “Photo” of girlfriend looks suspiciously like the Sunmaid raisin lady.
  • 8. You keep referring to her in the first person.
  • 7. Have a patent pending for a machine that gives you a hickey.
  • 6. Someone says, “Tell me about your girlfriend.” You say, “Hmm, let me think of something.”
  • 5. Your imaginary friend is dating her sister.
  • 4. Everyone can tell you’re arguing on the phone with Siri.
  • 3. She’s never upset when you forget her imaginary birthday.
  • 2. Always pressuring you to pretend to buy an engagement ring.
  • 1. Said she’s too shy to meet your friends, your family, and you.

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