Late Show with David Letterman: Top 10 Rejected Pope Names & New Books


David Letterman: Rejected Pope Names

Dave reflected on some new books that are probably not available at a store near you. Plus, the night’s Top 10 list shared Rejected Pope Names.

Late Show: Pope Francis Guest?

Late Show with David Letterman: Top 10 Rejected Pope Names & New Books

The Late Show counted down the Top 10 Rejected Pope Names that were not chosen by the new leader of the Catholic Church, Pope Francis.


Upon the election of Pope Francis, David Letterman speculated that there was revelry taking place in Vatican City. He also suggested that the new pope come on his show, unlike Mitt Romney, who declined opportunities to appear on the show.

Pope Francis has an open invitation to the Late Show, according to its host.

David Letterman: New Books

Dave said he recently visited a bookstore (I guess he found one that is still in business) and brought in some books to share with his audience. Anything is better than another phone call to the conclave.


Here are the joke book covers featured on the Late Show.

  • Foreigners Are Idiots: My Four Years As Secretary of State by Hillary Clinton
  • The Audubon Society Field Guide To North American Birds That Wear Hats
  • Fifty Shades of Shades by EL James, in the vein of the bestsellers
  • What To Expect When You’re Expectorating, a book about spitting
  • Collector’s Guide To The Previous Editions of the Collector’s Guide
  • For The Last Time, I’m Not Bill Paxton by Bill Pullman
  • Great Expectations audiobook with incongruous sound effects
  • Overlooked Invention of the Wright Brothers: The Bench
  • The Bourne Colonoscopy by Robert Ludlum
  • Downton Rabbi by Julian Fellowes

Would you read any of those titles if they were real?

Late Show: Top 10 Rejected Pope Names

The newly elected leader of the Catholic Church chose Pope Francis as his name. But what names didn’t make the cut? Here is Dave’s list from the Late Show.

  • 10. Kim Jong Pope
  • 9. Pope Pius Galifianakis
  • 8. Pope John MMMLXXXXVII
  • 7. Pope Sixteenth The Eleventh.
  • 6. Pope Milton Tingling
  • 5. Pope W. Bush
  • 4. Pope John Paul Van Damme
  • 3. Pope Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino
  • 2. Sponge Pope Big Hat
  • 1. Francis Ford Poppola


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