Late Show: Presidents’ Day, Yoko Ono Birthday & Pope Nominations

ADVERTISEMENT

Late Show: Yoko Ono & Pope Nominations

It is almost time to nominate a new pope, and Yoko Ono had a milestone birthday on this Presidents’ Day. Here is what else Dave wanted to talk about in the Late Show monologue.

David Letterman: Yoko Ono Birthday

Late Show: Presidents' Day, Yoko Ono Birthday & Pope Nominations

On a Presidents’ Day Late Show, David Letterman noted the observance of Yoko Ono’s 80th birthday and revealed the nominations for the open position of pope. (s_bukley / Shutterstock.com)

ADVERTISEMENT

Yoko Ono had her 80th birthday on February 18 2013. At this age, Dave joked that the woman famous for breaking up The Beatles is now just breaking up bingo games.

Vanna White, the Wheel of Fortune letter turner, also had a birthday. To honor her, producers “moved the camera back another 50 feet,” he said.

Late Show: Academy Awards

The countdown to the Academy Awards is on, and David Letterman said he will apparently not be the host. The movie Lincoln is up for 12 awards, “so I think he has a shot.”

ADVERTISEMENT

The musical Les Miserables is also nominated; according to Dave, it is about a Carnival Cruise.

David Letterman: Presidents Day

The voice of George Washington beamed down from the rafters to shame Dave for making his staff work on Presidents Day. However, it was actually just a disgruntled crew member who was angry that he had to work.

For Presidents’ Day on Monday, there was “no garbage pickup. It’s like a Carnival cruise buffet,” he said. The thousands of passengers finally got to disembark from the Carnival Triumph.

Late Show: Russian Meteor

Dave was recently obsessed with the asteroid that passed by the Earth. However, meteors turned out to be the real threat, landing in Russia, Florida, and California.

The Late Show had an animation of what might happen to an asteroid after it passes by the Earth. According to the animation, other planets would use the asteroid to play Pong.

David Letterman: Pope Nominations

With Pope Benedict set to retire at the end of February 2013, Dave suggested he has been fired for stealing communion wafers. A new pope must be named once there is a vacancy.

According to Dave, the nominees were announced at the Beverly Hilton and included actor Richard Dreyfuss. I don’t know that he will end up on the short list.

Late Show: Barack Obama Vs Tiger Woods

President Barack Obama spent some time over the weekend golfing with Tiger Woods. Dave compared golf to a disease that consumes players and can make some people crazy.

According to Letterman, there are some golfers who do not play fair. President Obama might be one of them. A doctored video showed a missile being fired to create a new hole for the president’s ball.

ADVERTISEMENT

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.