Late Show: Pope Job Posting, Valentine Dates & Dinosaurs Asteroid

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Late Show: Valentine’s Day

What did you have planned for Valentine’s Day? David Letterman shared his plans and learned about the job requirements for the new Pope job posting.

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David Letterman: Valentine Dates

Late Show: Pope Job Posting, Valentine Dates & Dinosaurs Asteroid

The Late Show monologue had ideas for Valentine dates, the impending asteroid’s similarities to the one that killed the dinosaurs, and the Pope job posting. (miqu77 / Shutterstock.com)

Following the show, Dave said he had quite the Valentine’s evening lined up for himself: “champagne, bubble bath, scented candles.” He said his wife is on her own.

The Carnival Cruise disaster continued for a fifth day, as the ship neared its port in Alabama. Letterman said you know you’re on a bad cruise if you see the captain and crew in a lifeboat.

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Late Show: Pope Job Posting

Supervising producer Cathy joined Dave on the stage with a memo about the Pope’s open position. In case you were wondering, here is the job listing.

“Congratulations to Pope Benedict XVI, who will be moving on to other endeavors. Candidates interesting in applying for Pope should be proficient in Microsoft Word, good at answering phones, and strong in people skills. Please see me or Janet by the end of the day Friday.”

After hearing the qualifications, Dave said he would put his name in the hat. He also flashed a photo of the pope with fishing flys attached to his hat.

David Letterman: Dinosaurs Asteroid

David Letterman is obsessed with the 150-mile-wide asteroid that is hurtling toward the Earth. A similar asteroid may have been responsible for wiping out the dinosaur population 65 million years ago, and Dave is afraid that we could all be in danger of a repeat occurrence.

In a special announcement, NASA had a message from Iran, which sent their monkey back to space to deflect the asteroid using a coconut.

Late Show: Mayor Bloomberg Birthday

New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg turned 71 this week, with a birthday party at City Hall. “To blow out the candles, the mayor stands up on a big stack of his money,” he joked.

Florence Henderson, the TV mom best remembered from The Brady Bunch, turned 79. According to an MSNBC report Dave showed, she caught something from a one-night stand with New York’s former mayor in the 1960s.

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