Late Show: Office Depot Office Max Merger & Pope N Win Contest

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Late Show: Pope N Win

David Letterman’s guests included Hugh Jackman and Zosia Mamet. But first, it was time for some laughs. The monologue included Oscar Fun Facts, the Pope N Win contest, and Michelle Obama’s midlife crisis.

The winter weather endures in New York. Today’s forecast was “28 and bitter, like Lindsay Lohan,” Letterman explained.

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David Letterman: Academy Award Nominees & Oscar Fun Facts

Late Show: Office Depot Office Max Merger & Pope N Win Contest

The Late Show monologue revealed Mountain Dew’s Pope N Win contest, the Office Depot-Office Max merger, and Vice President Biden’s thoughts on gun control. (haak78 / Shutterstock.com)

With the Academy Awards this weekend, Dave summarized some of the top contenders:

  • “a movie about a guy with a bipolar disorder”
  • “a movie about a president soon to be assassinated”
  • “a movie about a woman dying from a stroke”

Dave said he compares the Oscars to a Carnival Cruise, just with speeches. I wonder if that’s how it feels in the room by the end of the night.

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According to the Late Show, the Oscar is named for Hollywood prop maker Oscar Harrison, who died falling into “a vat of molten brass.”

David Letterman: Pope N Win Contest

Dave said he thinks that Catholics are going to miss the pope and his radical ideas, like wanting “to replace communion wafers with unlimited breadsticks.” He suggested that potential papal candidates should try out with Kelly Ripa.

Hopefully, the search for a new pope isn’t getting too commercial. The Late Show shared an advertisement for Mountain Dew’s Pope N Win contest.

Laundromats are on the decline in New York City, according to Dave. Will anyone miss waiting around for the clothes to be washed and dried? There is always the East River, he said.

Late Show: Office Depot Office Max Merger

Office Depot and Office Max are going to merge, and Letterman said the new name for the stores will be Office Office. They might as well.

Then there was the recent US Airways-American Airlines merger, which Dave said formed Airways Airlines. Again, this does not seem like much of a stretch to me.

David Letterman: Biden Gun Control

Vice President Joe Biden recently said that his wife, Dr Jill Biden, thinks everyone should get a shotgun. That way, you can scare away prowlers by firing off rounds in your backyard. That seems like very irresponsible advice from a doctor or a vice president.

A Florida pizza restaurant gives customers 15% off their orders for showing your gun at the counter. Wouldn’t it just be free? How do they know they are not about to be held up?

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