Late Show: Lance Armstrong & National Debt
The Late Show monologue talked about the New York City bus strike, the National Debt, and Oprah’s interview with Lance Armstrong. Plus, Dave’s guests included Kim and Khloe Kardashian.
David Letterman: Revolutionary War Cannon
On a recent weekend in New York City, park crews found a Revolutionary War cannon, which was still loaded. “Old, loaded, ready to go: it’s like me before the show,” Dave said.
To be safe, crews put an orange cone by the cannon to warn passersby. They also found an expert team to unload the cannon and literally defuse the situation. Of course, that got the NRA riled up, according to Letterman.
Late Show: NRA Teachers With Guns
The NRA recently said that all teachers should carry guns, “but they still must use those scissors with the rounded safety,” he said.
The 2013 flu season was a particularly bad one, and Dave joked that even Lance Armstrong was not immune. “I heard him admit to using Tamiflu,” Letterman said.
David Letterman: New York School Bus Strike
“I’m sluggish, I’m listless, and I have no energy,” Dave said he told his doctor, who said that sounded like a description of his show.
He also addressed a plight facing New York City’s future, saying that quality education should be a priority. But there was a school bus strike in the city, preventing kids from getting to school.
Letterman recalled getting on the school bus every day when he was growing up. “In my case, it was strange because I was home schooled,” he said.
Late Show: National Debt & Fiscal Cliff
Remember the fiscal cliff? Dave does, and said that voters were tired of hearing the cliff talks immediately after the election.
“In my case, when you don’t know what it is, you don’t care about it,” he said. But talks soon moved on to the debt ceiling. The national debt of $16 million and growing is monitored by an expensive National Debt Clock, which a fake CNN report blamed for most of the growing debt.
David Letterman: Oprah Winfrey & Lance Armstrong
With the January 2013 inauguration looming, Dave said the 2016 presidential campaign was set to start immediately following the inauguration festivities.
Letterman also recalled when “Oprah was fired” from her talk show and started her network to get revenge. He said he would not be starting a network when he left his show.
Lance Armstrong gave an exclusive interview to Oprah about the doping charges, and Dave shared a clip from their conversation. In Dave’s clip, Armstrong looked like an aged, elderly man, which could be an age progression of Armstrong’s future.