David Letterman: Justin Bieber Monkey & Chinese Food 911 Call

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David Letterman: Justin Bieber Monkey

Justin Bieber’s monkey, a Peeps-inspired food product, and MLB Opening Day were fodder for the Late Show monologue from David Letterman on April Fool’s Day.

Late Show: April Fool’s Day & Easter

Dave celebrated what he said was a day of free parking for New York City, courtesy of Mayor Michael Bloomberg. Of course, this was his attempt at an April Fool’s Joke. Did you fall for any of those this year?

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David Letterman: Justin Bieber Monkey & Chinese Food 911 Call

David Letterman joked about the Justin Bieber monkey that was confiscated by German authorities, the Chinese Food 911 call in New Hampshire, and Easter.

Letterman said his favorite was when President George W. Bush put up a Mission Accomplished banner. Dave said his idea of a prank is giving his kid leftover Halloween candy for Easter.

David Letterman: Peeps Vs Fluffs Review

In Washington, the annual Easter Egg Roll was held. “This year they hid only the egg whites,” he said, as a nod to Michelle Obama’s health initiatives. One overly eager kid found two dozen eggs “and a couple of missing Nixon tapes.”

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The candy marshmallow Peeps are popular at this time of year, and the host said that New Jersey governor Chris Christie was once hospitalized for “an impacted Peep.” Related new Peeps products include Fluffs, made out of “pulverized chicken shaped like marshmallows.

Late Show: MLB Opening Day

With a nod to Major League Baseball, Dave called this episode the “home opener,” since the Yankees and the Mets played their first games of the season April 1. He said he is concerned about the Yankees, since Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter are on the disabled list.

Mariano Rivera is back, which Letterman said was a good sign, but he compared Rivera to the ailing new pope. The Houston Astros have made a big switch this year, moving to the American League, while the “New York Mets have been moved down to AAA.”

David Letterman: Marco Rubio Immigration

Florida Senator Marco Rubio has now come out in support of immigration law. Letterman suggested that Rubio had gravitas and that this could be a bargaining chip in terms of immigration reform.

I guess the late night writers will take any excuse to trot out that Marco Rubio water bottle clip from the State of the Union.

Late Show: Chinese Food 911 Call

A New Hampshire woman called 911 because she could not successfully order Chinese food. “This is the kind of thing Dr Phil will devote an entire hour to,” Dave predicted.

In a Celebrity Monkey Update, the Late Show shared reports that Justin Bieber’s pet monkey was detained by authorities in Germany. What exotic pet would you like to have?

This story led to a commercial parody for Monkey Metro Attorneys, which would at least break up all those ads for other types of nuisance lawsuits.

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