David Letterman: Earth Day Carbon Footprint & Republican Rebranding

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David Letterman: Earth Day & Republicans

Are you reducing your carbon footprint to make the world a greener place? Dave joked about his own Earth Day suggestions and the ongoing Republican rebranding campaign.

Late Show: Earth Day Carbon Footprint

Earth Day was April 22, and Dave said he woke up groggy in Michelle Obama’s vegetable garden. That has got to be disorienting.

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“Americans need to reduce their carbon footprint,” Dave said, to enthusiastic applause. He had a better idea: “how about reducing our carbon butt print?”

David Letterman: Earth Day Carbon Footprint & Republican Rebranding

David Letterman talked about efforts to reduce the carbon footprint in observance of Earth Day and delved into the ongoing Republican rebranding campaign.

Maybe Dave should get rid of the coal-powered typewriters still being used in his office.

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David Letterman: Associated Press Twitter Hacked

Hackers got into the Twitter account for the Associated Press, posting fake news stories about America in crisis. “The real news isn’t bad enough?” Dave wondered.

The stock market even responded to the fake news before it was brought under control.

Late Show: Reese Witherspoon DUI

Letterman and Paul Shaffer agreed that celebrities are always getting into trouble. This week, it was Reese Witherspoon, who was arrested for disorderly conduct after her husband was pulled over for DUI.

She even played the “do you know who I am?” card, which is always going to come back on you, so you should never say it.

David Letterman: Republican Rebranding

Republicans are revamping their image after losses in the 2012 election cycle. Dave said they have some ideas for rebranding themselves, including embracing more cultures and celebrations. Good thing they found hilarious video of President George W. Bush and First Lady Laura Bush at an African dance ceremony.

The George W. Bush Presidential Library is opening in spring 2013, and it will have “a fixin’s bar,” Dave said. A recent poll found that Americans think positively about the former president. “Sounds like another phony report from the AP,” he responded.

Late Show: North Dakota News Anchor Fired

A journalism graduate made his news debut on a North Dakota newscast, but his career was cut short when he managed to make his first words on the air inappropriate for broadcast. The Late Show staff suggested that he could make himself available to swear at corporate events and functions.

After a long and storied absence, ex-congressman Anthony Weiner is returning to Twitter. Do you think this is a good idea? It’s part of his bid for the mayor’s office in New York City.

Children are our future, according to Letterman. Recently, budding inventors demonstrated their creations for the president. I don’t know how he finds so much time to meet all those people. How can he get any work done on that schedule?

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