Late Night: Mariah Carey Rider, John Boehner Vs Harry Reid & Groupon

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Late Night: Prince & Mariah Carey Rider

Between Prince and Mariah Carey, “this is actually the first show where I’m not allowed to make eye contact with any of my guests,” Jimmy Fallon joked at the top of his show. His monologue mentioned the Groupon CEO, overweight pets, and the fight between leaders John Boehner vs Harry Reid.

Mariah Carey’s dressing room requests were simple: bottled water, a mirror, and no Nicki Minaj.

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Jimmy Fallon: John Boehner Vs Harry Reid

Late Night: Mariah Carey Rider, John Boehner Vs Harry Reid & Groupon

The Late Night monologue highlighted Mariah Carey’s dressing room requests, the fight between John Boehner vs Harry Reid, and the firing of Groupon’s CEO. (Jaguar PS / Shutterstock.com)

The sequester and its $85 billion in spending cuts went into effect on the night of March 1 2013. What are elected officials doing to keep things from getting out of hand?

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John Boehner and Harry Reid are facing off in a war of words and euphemisms for “butt” and probably “yo mama” jokes. Of course, Boehner always has that crying trick up his sleeve. Will he ever live that down? (No. No, he will not.)

Late Night: Groupon CEO Fired

This week, the founder and CEO of Groupon was fired from his own company. “He could tell something was up because today’s deal was his parking space,” Fallon said.

When is the last time you used a Groupon? I think it’s been over a year since I’ve even thought about it.

Jimmy Fallon: Overweight Pets & Kim Kardashian

A US survey has found that over half of all American pets are overweight. I guess pets really do start to look like their owners.

Kim Kardashian is now saying that couples should spend at least six months dating before rushing into marriage. “And they should stay married for at least six days before they decide to get divorced,” Fallon appended.

Late Night: Optimists Vs Pessimists

Did you know that pessimists live longer than optimists, according to a new study? There are so many conflicting studies out there that contradict one another. I guess that means whether you are pessimistic or optimistic, you can take whatever news you want to hear.

Jimmy Fallon: Timothy Dolan Pope?

New York Cardinal Timothy Dolan said in an interview that he is more likely to join the Yankees than be the next pope. “On the other hand…, A-Rod has a better chance of becoming pope than playing for the Yankees,” Fallon said.

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