Jimmy Kimmel Live: Michael Strahan & Miles Teller
According to Jimmy Kimmel, Los Angeles had a bold plan to improve commuting by synchronizing all 4400 of its traffic lights. “They actually just set them all to yellow,” he said. The plan is supposed to cut travel time by 12%, which is relative depending on how long it takes you to get around.
Jimmy Kimmel: Most Obnoxious Moviegoer
The Oscar telecast honors people who are in the movies. But Jimmy wanted to honor the Most Obnoxious Moviegoer, and here were his nominees.
- The spoiler
- The texting teenager
- The person who thinks everything in a movie is supposed to be realistic
- The very old person who has no idea what’s going on
The winner was The Spoiler, which is pretty annoying. All these types are reasons why I don’t go to very many movies in theaters. Which of these types do you think is most annoying? Tell me in the comments.
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Teenage Birthday Party Arrests
A New York woman reportedly hired dancers to perform at her 16-year-old’s birthday party. Jimmy said that the entertainers did not wear bowling shoes to the party. The mother has been arrested as a result of the story. Jimmy said his mother gave him an Izod shirt for his 16th birthday.
She was charged with five counts of endangering the welfare of a child, and could be sentenced to one year in prison.
Jimmy Kimmel Behind The News: Golf Course Shooting
A reporter went to a golf course to report on a shooting that took place there recently. While he was on the air, two passersby dashed into the shot.
A Florida college’s football stadium is being sponsored by the Geo Group, a for-profit prison company. “Hot dogs will now go for two packs of cigarettes,” Jimmy said.
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Postal Service Clothing Line
The United States Postal Service is working with an Ohio company on a Rain Heat and Snow clothing and accessories line. I can’t imagine wanting to dress like a postal worker. “It’s the perfect attire for stealing Social Security checks out of people’s mailboxes,” he said.
Kimmel had his own plan for making the postal service profitable again: “legalize pot and put them in charge of delivery.” That is an economic plan I had not yet heard.
Jimmy Kimmel: Manila Postal Service Cologne
There could even be a Postal Service cologne, if Kimmel is to be believed. It’s called Manila: “Smell like an envelope. Go places.” That’s no more ridiculous than the Whopper cologne from Burger King.
Colorado recently legalized recreational marijuana, and a task force is firming up the laws. There could be opportunities in pot tourism, Jimmy said. Non-residents are currently not allowed to purchase marijuana.
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Qbert World Record
At a New Jersey arcade, a 38-year-old man broke the record for the world’s longest game of Qbert, playing for 84 hours and 48 minutes. Jimmy said that also broke the record for “most time wasted by a person ever.”
Kimmel said he was more amazed that there was an arcade somewhere that still had a Qbert game.
Jimmy Kimmel: Goats Yelling At Humans Supercut
Have you seen the supercut of goats yelling at humans? It is strange, because the goats really do sound like screaming humans.