GMA: Bloomingdale’s Crazy New Jeans Machine
Do you have a huge problem finding the perfect pair of jeans? Do you have a weird leg to hip ratio, or have a backside that is larger-than-comfortable in most pairs of jeans? Well, don’t worry. Bloomingdale’s has a crazy new jeans machine designed especially for you. It looks like the cylinder room stars would go into during the red carpet at the Oscars, when the camera would take a 360 view of a Hollywood star and debate whether or not her dress was cool.
This weird cylinder room has clear glass all the way around it and a revolving arm that sends out harmless radio waves, which bounce off the moisture in your skin and take an extremely accurate measurement of your body, finding over 200,000 points of reference. Then, it prints out a list of jeans you can try.
I think it’s worth pointing out that even though it said it can tell you which jeans to wear, some of the ladies modeling looks in this segment were wearing pants that didn’t look anything like jeans. Has the word jeans become a catch-all term for pants, or have women developed some kind of new jeans technology that turns denim into something that looks skintight and stretchy? I can’t say one way or the other.
GMA: Testing Out the Bloomindale’s Jeans Machine
Three GMA staffers gave the machine a try. The ladies shared their particular problems. One girl had wider hips and shorter legs, which she said was a “recipe for disaster.” The next girl said that whatever fit her in the hips, won’t fit her in the legs. And the third said, “I kind of have a little bit of a butt.”
Don’t worry, ladies! Even though this kind of felt like that scene in Mean Girls when all of the girls are insulting their bodies in the mirror, Rachel Smith had a solution for these women: the new Bloomingdale’s jean machine! Maybe if Rachel McAdams’ Regina George had a crazy new jeans machine, she wouldn’t have gotten hit by a bus.
Anyway, the hip lady’s printout revealed 20 pairs. The one who thought she was a disaster found a pair of bright green St. Patty’s Day-colored stretchy pants everyone called “jeans” but to me looked kind of like pajamas. The one who said she had “a little bit of a butt” found some pastel yellow pants that definitely in no way resembled jeans. But she seemed to enjoy them and seem genuinely surprised they fit her.
Later, two of the ladies came by the GMA studio. One wore white pants with black dotted stripes that I sincerely cannot believe were denim and the other wore dark black and white pants. But, whether these were actually jeans or not, I have to admit the ladies all looked good in the pants, whatever material they were.
GMA: Bloomingdale’s New Jeans Machine Not Just For Women
Today we learned something. I apparently don’t know very much about denim or women’s fashion. But the Bloomingdale’s crazy new jeans machine is helping ladies all across the country. Liz Vargas told us that it also can help with skirts and tops and isn’t just for women, but for men, too. Although I find it hard to imagine a man doing this, it does make me wonder whether this is the future of fashion. Maybe in 20 years a cylinder machine will pick out all of our clothes and everyone will wear “denim” pants that look like pajamas. You heard it here first!