Ellen: Meryl Streep Acting Tips
Ellen started her show by talking about how excited she was to have Meryl Streep on set.
“What an amazing actress she is,” she said. “She holds the record for the most Academy Award nominations. She’s been nominated 16 times.”
Then she transitioned into jokes acting.
“Of course Meryl Streep and I are both thespians,” she joked. “I’m more of a thespian than she is.”
She started explaining the basic go-to acting shticks and parodying them.
“You see in actors in comedic roles doing what is called a double take,” she said. “If you want to be really really funny, you can do the DeGeneres quadruple take.”
She demonstrated by doing a very frantic looking quadruple take.
“I actually hurt my neck on that last one,” she said. “I’m kidding. That was acting!”
As Ellen continued to joke about her acting chops, Meryl snuck across stage behind her and the audience cheered uproariously. Ellen pretended to be oblivious as though she thought the applause was for her mock acting.
“Thank you, thank you,” she said. “I didn’t think you’d appreciate it that much.”
Ellen: Mitt Romney Cookies
“So I went to the People’s Choice Awards last night and guess what–I WON!” Ellen said. “My new year’s resolution was to win more people’s choice awards than Matt Lauer.”
Ellen asked her audience if anyone else makes new year’s resolutions.
“There are people every year who try to get you to break your resolution,” she said. “They’re called girl scouts.”
Then she started showing mock girl scout cookies that she said were new this year. The second box of cookies she showed was called, “Thin Mitts.”
“Cookies shaped like Mitt Romney,” she said. “The difference between the cookie and Mitt Romney is that on the cookie, the hair moves a little bit.”
Ellen: Oh Puh-lice Police Reports
Ellen showed the latest installment of her segment, “Oh Puh-lice.” It featured fan submitted police reports from newspaper clippings.
The first one told of an incident in which “residents complained of a man drinking” and police arrested a man named “Beezow Doo-Doo Zopitty Bop-Bop-Bop.”
The second report said “some one entered a home and left presents inside.”
“The suspect threatened the home owners that he sees when they’re sleeping and knows when they’re awake,” Ellen joked.